if you’re still going for the excuse of maintaining professional appearances, I’m not the only one who isn’t buying it. I’m the student who knows this material the best—but in the last hour, you barely acknowledged I was breathing, let alone thinking. You know what that looks like to anyone observing us with half a brain, right?”
Instead of answering her, I funnel my frustration into slamming my computer shut. The resultant sparks and smell of fried fuses have me adding a trip to the electronics store on my trip home.
“Remarkably, a few of us mere mortals outside the Valari universe are aware of what ‘optics’ are.” From the second I bite out the words, I long to take them back. The yearning grows as Kara steps back like I’ve daggered her.
Returning to her seat, she hastily stuffs her belongings into her red leather backpack. The mortification on my face probably matches the hue by now.
“Kara.”
“I’ll get out of your hair now.” She’s stuttering in time to my goddamned heartbeat. I’m losing her. Fast.
“Kara.”
As she starts up the steps, I realize I only have one hope here. The truth.
“Kell came and talked to me,” I call out at last.
When she stops and turns, my lungs expel what feels like three days of air. Except she looks like my confession is the equivalent of another knife through her middle.
“She…what?”
“Yesterday. We bumped into each other outside Jesse’s office. Apparently she had some things she wanted to say.” I drag a hand through my hair again. It does little to ease the awkward moment. Though it’s little consolation, her reaction answers my curiosity about whether Kell told her anything about our chat.
“Why does this even shock me?” Despite her bitter mutter, the news impacts her hard. She plunks down on her ass, stretching her legs out along the adjoining step.
“But you’re not actually shocked,” I return. “Right?”
“I suppose not.”
Her defeated tone is like a sheep hook around me. At once, I put down my destroyed laptop and clear the handful of steps to reach her side. I lower down beside her and loop my arm around her shoulders.
She settles in, notching her head against me and pressing a hand to the center of my chest. And just like that, I’m complete again. As complete as I can feel these days. So much of me has been splintered into so many pieces. More astounding is how it’s all happened so fast.
Because of her?
I don’t want to answer that, even to myself. Part of my mind scrambles for other excuses, but they’re all lame. This is the truth, as unreal and unexpected as it seems. I’m fissuring, and she’s the chisel.
But chisels are meant for sculpting as well as fracturing. As thoroughly as Kara has split me open, so much of me believes she’s a key to the answers. The healer of my open wounds. Her warmth drenches me as if the roof’s been cut back and the sun’s shining directly in on us. It’s as perfect as the fire in her eyes, the electricity of her touch, and the connection I feel to both. I don’t know how she’s even real, but I’m damn glad I’m the one who’s holding her close right now—and getting clutched so possessively in return.
She frees a heavy sigh into my pectoral. “Let me guess. Kell told you to stay away from me. That you have to stay away.”
“In so many words.”
“But she didn’t tell you why.”
An odd certainty underscores her tone. I replay the conversation with Kell in my mind, unable to latch on to anything other than the memory of her concern.
“Whatever her reasons are for not wanting you to see me, they’re probably valid.”
I’m not sure I mean that. Not completely. Learning the specifics behind Kell’s warning might not change anything besides deepening my determination to prove her wrong in every way. Or maybe it’d make me hate myself even more for ultimately not being the guy Kara truly deserves. Because I care enough about her now to recognize that fact. She deserves a hell of a lot better than me.
“So you believed her,” she finally rasps, curling her fingers into a tight fist against my chest. “When she said…whatever she said.”
“I believed that she believed it,” I reply. “And that she was confronting me out of her love for you.” I pause for another moment. “I also think our connection frightens her.”
Kara gulps hard. “It does.”
“You’re sure of it?”
“I am.”
“Why?”
“My family…” She drops her gaze to