his hand and hold it between both of mine, focusing on the softness and the way his veins protrude through the thin skin.
“Hey,” he gently prods.
“Hey.” My reply is a wimpy rasp. At the moment, I can’t do any better.
“Kara. Come on. It’s me. What’s up?”
I pull in a sigh. The better question is, what’s not up? But I evade the question with something easier to say. Words I’ve whispered to him a million times before.
“I hate that you have to stay here all the time.”
He gives my hands a squeeze. The motion says nothing but everything. He’s probably evading bitter thoughts of his own.
“You know I’ve escaped from worse places. I can leave anytime I want.” He winks, but my heart breaks a little at the same time.
“I wish Mom was nicer to you. It shouldn’t have to be like this.”
He nods thoughtfully. “When I found out your grandmother was a…” He grimaces briefly before locking his gaze to mine. “Listen. I had a choice, Kara. We always have a choice. And when she finally told me about her designs for our children and grandchildren, I had the chance to leave. But I refused to think of the family we’d made as a punishment. Even if Veronica and the others aren’t exactly warm, I’d still rather be here than anywhere else. You’re my family. You’re all my family, no matter what anyone says.”
I drop my head to hide the sheen of tears building. I stare down at our hands and swallow hard. Neither action helps me now or stops the emotion creeping its way to the surface.
I hate this. So much of this. I know Gramps does too, in his own way, but he’s so much more adept at pushing it down. At concealing the gravity of it all.
My grandmother’s deceit is the only reason I’m alive. It’s why I’m a Valari with demon blood flowing through my veins. And even though she’s long returned to the place that sent her to begin with, if all goes to plan, I’ll have children of my own one day who will despise their humanity as I was taught to. Every generation a triumph and a punishment. A lesson for anyone who thinks they can get out of hell for free.
“Gramps…” I try to piece the words together somehow, though I know there’s no right way to say it. “I…I met someone.”
The grooves between his brows deepen. “Who? A friend?”
I hesitate. “I’m not sure how I feel about him right now. I guess that’s the scary part.”
He pinches his lips together and slips his hand from my grasp, using it to rub the back of his neck. The knot of anxiety I’ve been holding on to about Maximus tightens painfully.
“I haven’t known him very long. We just met a couple days ago.”
He closes his eyes a moment. “Oh, Kara…”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Please, please be careful. Your mother…”
“I know. Trust me. I haven’t told anyone but you. No one understands what’s at stake more than I do.”
He shoots me a serious look. “Except for me. I know. And I care for you more than—”
He stops himself, but we both know the truth. What we have is one of the few treasures he has left. The relationship we’re not allowed to acknowledge. Not inside the gaudy mansion nearby, and definitely not in the world beyond that.
But the same instincts that bring me to the guesthouse to have moments with Gramps are the ones that draw me to Maximus too. Some might call it being rebellious, but I call it free will. Of course, the powers that be won’t see it that way.
Privately, I can scold myself into following the rules all I want, but when I’m in the same room as the man who looks like a god, I don’t seem to have much willpower at all.
Maximus. My senses long to keep repeating the syllables. My body craves the ineffable shivers they bring.
“There’s something about him,” I say, unable to hide the subtle pleading in my voice. “There’s this energy between us that I can’t describe. It’s almost like he could be one of us, but I know he’s not. I could feel that. This…well, this is different.”
He stares at me intently. “Are you saying you don’t think he’s human?”
“I honestly don’t know. I’m not sure he even knows.”
“Have you asked him about it?”
I shake my head. I’ve been too busy trying not to claw my way up his massive body. Too busy pretending