my chest, closing my eyes as I stood still there for a minute.
Dear God! Please, give me the strength to do what I’m about to do. And keep me safe. Amen. I prayed, took another deep breath and then stepped out the room. Out of the wing.
Here goes nothing.
Heart: heavy.
Head: light.
Heavy-hearted and lightheaded, I took one step after another away from the wing. I walked away from it. From the prince. A stinging feeling living in my chest. Stinging. Paining. Confusing.
I couldn’t help the feeling of pain inside of me as I made my way farther away from the wing, with Mona beside me. But I made sure to not think about all of the confusion I was cursed with at that moment, until a later time. Because right then, it would’ve been the stupidest thing, for me to ignore everything going on and what I had just started doing, and instead start thinking about how–or why–I was having these strange and unwelcome feelings caused by the thought of my escape to freedom.
Heart. Head. Both hurt. Badly.
“This way, Princess,” Mona said, and I followed her, only learning that I was still in the wing when I saw a great wooden door at the end of the lobby we were walking in. Standing beside it was a woman in black that was just another version of me; the same black clothes with almost the very same height and form. If not for the fact that her face wasn’t covered, I wouldn’t have known that she was Janna.
A smile was drawn on Janna’s face when we approached: a fake one that I’d seen so many times by now it wasn’t even funny. A huge part of me hated to see how much effort it was taking her to show that she was alright. She seriously wasn’t. She was too sad. It was upsetting.
“Ah! Finally!” she said with her fake smile plastered on her lips. “Are you ready to meet your other sister-in-law, Marie?” The look in her eyes as she gazed at mine didn’t give anything away–other than what I’d already known–so to Mona, I knew everything looked normal.
All I managed in reply was a simple nod; speaking seemed so hard and I just couldn’t find it in me to do it.
“Great!” Janna said cheerfully. “We have to go right now so we get to spend some time with her before I have to go; I’m already running so late.” She shook her head in sorrow to emphasize how upset she was over being late, and then she reached over her head for her niqap and brought it down to cover her face, Mona following her covering her own.
I nodded again, doing the same as both of them, swallowing thickly when Mona reached for the door. This was it.
“How about Sana, Princess?” Mona asked Janna. “Is she already there in Princess Rosanna’s wing?”
Because of the lack of title before ‘Sana’s’ name, I knew she was Janna’s maid, but then I got a bit confused when I remembered them saying her name was ‘Nora’ when she came yesterday to help Mona clean the closet where Janna had thrown up, but then I didn’t think so much about it–I had enough to think and worry about at that moment.
I could’ve sworn, that through Janna’s niqab and while watching the only part that showed–her eyes–that she was happy Mona had asked that question, but I wasn’t so sure if I was right.
“No, she isn’t,” Janna sounded annoyed. “She’s too busy packing the rest of my things,” and then she paused. “Hey, I have an idea, why don’t you go help her with that, Mona? I’d really appreciate it. I’m afraid she won’t get done in time, but with your help, I know she would.”
“Uh, I–um, it’d be my pleasure, Princess,” Mona said, “But Princess Marie has all the say in this.”
“I’m sure Princess Marie wouldn’t mind,” she told her, then turned to ask me, “Would you?”
“Of course not,” I said, sounding more nervous than I’d liked for my voice to be. When Mona didn’t move, I realized she was waiting for me to speak my command, “Go help with the packing, please.”
A long moment passed before Mona responded with a “Yes, Princess” then left after a nod of her head to me and then to Janna, using a secret door that was behind us. Though I couldn’t see her face, I was sure Mona didn’t like the idea of leaving me, and a part of