His thawb was a bit different, and there were no traces of any wrinkles where I had fisted it for hours earlier. I wondered why he was all dressed up like that, unless he was…going out. Again?
Panic started rising inside of me, but I tried my best to convince myself that he wouldn’t do that to me, not again, not after everything that had happened–I was sure. Still, I waited for his confirmation. He’d taught me that assuming and judging made things darker and harder to understand than when you searched for an answer or an explanation directly.
“Yes, Princess,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed, facing me.
“What for?”
He didn’t reply right away, only moved his hand through his hair, seemingly as if he was trying really hard to figure out how he was going to reply to me. “I– uh...I arranged your flight back to the States,” he said, pressing his lips into a tight line, barely looking into my eyes.
“What?” I asked in shock. “What do you mean back to the States?”
“You’re going home, Princess.” He offered me another small smile that you could barely see, even while staring at him.
Home!
I felt my chest swelling at the thought, not sure if it was in happiness or sadness, and that alone was enough to confuse the heck out of me.
“Home? Tonight?”
He nodded.
“But what about our deal? We agreed I’d stay for six months, for Janna’s sake,” I reminded him, though doubting he’d forgotten about that.
“I came up with something. Don’t worry yourself about that, Beautiful Princess,” he tried to smile. “We will leave once you’re ready.” He got up, but before he could go anywhere, I got out of bed and stopped him, noticing that I was back in my sweatpants, though I had no idea how I’d gotten them back on, but not really caring either.
“You’ll come with me?” I asked. After all, he’d said ‘We.’
“Yes, Princess, I’ll accompany you to the airport,” he replied, not turning back to look at me.
Oh!
“That’s all?” I whispered my question. Was he really going to send me back home that way? Just like that? That simple? He came up with something and that was it?
“If there’s anything you need, just say the word, Princess,” he said.
You.
I need you.
“So, you’re just shipping me back home only six days after the wedding. You’re saying that you came up with something, and not to worry myself. What could I possibly need?” I said with hurt in my voice. “You have everything set,” my voice cracked.
“Isn’t that what you want, Princess?”
“How could you even ask that?” My eyes welled up with tears. “After yesterday and the wonderful time we spent together, how could you think I’d still want to leave?”
I heard him sucking in a breath. “Because after what happened this afternoon, you couldn’t possibly still want to stay, if ever.”
“But I’m fine,” I argued. “Something bad was going to happen but it didn’t, and you saved me. It’s over. Why are you dwelling on it?”
“Because I won’t always be by your side, Princess,” he said. “You’re safer in your own country.”
But I’m safer with you.
“Yeah,” I said, my tears already falling all over again, “but did you even stop to think about how I would feel about it?”
He didn’t reply, and after a pause of silence, I nodded to myself. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I should go home. I’m just sorry it’s so easy for you to send me back home like that, after yesterday. I thought it meant something to you, but I really was mistaken.”
It was then he turned to face me, and in a split second he was right in front of me, his hands cupping my face and his eyes locked with mine. “Don’t,” he whispered, his face all pain, hurt and sadness. “Don’t go there, Beautiful Princess.” He shook his head. “It meant more to me than you could ever imagine.”
“Then why?” I whispered back, my tears blurring my vision. “Why are you sending me off? Why?”
“You’re not safe here, you have to go home.”
“I’m fine,” I insisted.
“You’re far from it,” he said. “Just look at you, look at what’s happened to you since you came here. You’ve lost weight, you’ve cried every single day–several times–you were insulted and pushed around, you’ve had two death threats and you almost faced something they call ‘Common Deflowering’–while I call it ‘Gang Rape’.” He pressed his lips together hard. “Do you have any idea how all of this is hurting