a look that was louder than any words in my ears. It was almost as if it was...praying.
Our lips touched, and my eyes closed. Our lips touched, and my head spun. Our lips touched, and my chest tingled. Our lips touched, and my knees buckled. Our lips touched, and my body melted.
His lips were intense, warm and loving. His touch was soft, hot and caring. His hold on my hand was tight, firm and kind.
There were sparkling lights behind my closed eyelids, and a tingling inside of my chest. There was fire everywhere I could feel and everywhere I couldn’t.
There was life.
His lips moved in perfect rhythm with mine, and I was lost in another world that shone with softness and comfort. I was lost in a sea of warm hearts and caring touches. Lost in a sky that was dark but glittered with little stars.
Dark sky…
I pulled back and turned away, panting and shaking slightly. My gaze wouldn’t meet his, and my mind wouldn’t admit what my heart felt.
His hand didn’t leave mine and he pulled me to face him again. This time our chests were touching immediately, and our cheeks were pressed together as he breathed into my ear. “Don’t, please. Don’t run away. Don’t.”
I swallowed thickly. “You, don’t,” I whispered.
“Don’t what, Beautiful, Beautiful Princess?” His other hand found my neck again, this time holding it tighter than before, his thumb under my chin as he raised my face up with it to look at him, his gaze darkening and his breaths shallow. “Don’t do this?” he asked before his lips met mine again. This time it was firmer, this time it was hotter, this time it was soft sucking and tongues touching. It was gasps and soft moans I’d never known I could make. It was a tight grip leaving my hand and settling on my hip, kneading and setting my body on fire underneath it. This time it was my hands touching a hard chest and tight muscles. It was waves of want and need, waves of more and never-stop.
But when breaths were greatly needed, we pulled back, panting and dazzled. Lightheaded and closed-throated. Heart working one thought, and mind working a hundred. A voice in my head screaming at me with what I felt I was:
Cheater.
Cheater.
Cheater, cheater, cheater…
My mind forced the word to ring in my ears over and over again. The voice telling me that I was a cheater grew louder and louder by the moment, until I started choking.
My hand left the prince’s, and the other left his chest, which I had been touching all the while my lips were pressed to his and my tongue was tasting him. Both of my hands moved up to my throat and I clasped it, trying desperately to catch my breath that I was struggling to take in or even to let out.
“D-do-don’t-” I gasped out, my eyes welling up with tears that I soon shed for how ashamed I was of myself. “Don’t d-do thi-s again.”
“Hey, hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” the prince’s voice that I was hearing as if I were underwater asked, full of worry and concern.
“D-don’t do it-t again,” I choked out the words, my vision blurry and my legs shaking so badly that I almost lost my balance and fell.
It was as if I was trying to convince myself with the ‘Don’t do it again,’ that kissing the prince was all his doing and I had nothing to do with it. It was as if I was trying to tell myself that I was forced into it, that I wanted to stop it, that I hadn’t wanted it to happen in the first place.
But I wasn’t that stupid. I wasn’t so stupid that I wasn’t able to convince myself of the lies I wanted to plant in my own head. I knew better.
I had kissed him back.
I had kissed him back, and I’d liked it. The realization wasn’t at all easy on me. It was killing me, ripping at my heart from the inside to admit to myself–even with a very small part of my mind–that I was attracted to the prince, that I liked him, and that I wanted him.
But that wasn’t all of it. There was more. And the more was uglier. I was feeling something for him, as well. More than just attraction.
I was feeling something deep inside of me for the prince. It was strong, it was powerful, and it was…scary. Oh, so scary.
God! I was