and believed in a religion that wasn’t mine. No family, no friends, nobody I knew. My only family had betrayed me, then went on with his life like nothing had happened. I didn’t have any clue if he was still anywhere around. I didn’t know anything. At all.
My nose tingled as the threat of tears falling down my face came to me. I fought it, but my vision blurred, and I knew he could see the shining in my eyes. I hated it, I didn’t want him to see me weak. I wasn’t weak. But I was helpless. I didn’t know if that was a weakness. I didn’t know anything. At all.
He motioned for me to sit on the couch, and I hesitantly did. He then sat in the same chair his mother had just left. I folded my arms in front of my chest protectively, my eyes lowered, looking anywhere but into his eyes, waiting for what he would say. My heart was pounding in my chest violently, and the fear inside me left my mouth drier than a fallen leaf in autumn.
I heard him sighing, and I had to look up; he seemed bitter, depressed, and sad. But he wasn’t angry or mad, and for that, I was grateful. I only hoped that it wasn’t an act.
“Before anything,” he started, “I need to– … What I said earlier, I shouldn’t have said it. It was uncalled for.”
My eyes widened slightly at what he said; I hadn’t expected him to apologize to me. His voice sounded genuine, and he seemed to be honest in what he was saying, but … it was hard to believe. My mind was telling me that he couldn’t be.
I didn’t reply, I only chewed on my bottom lip, not even nodding in acceptance of his apology when he said: “So, I apologize.” And when I didn’t say anything, he went on.
“I was never in favor of this except for my sister,” he said. “Janna is too important to me, and the thought of her being killed was something I couldn’t accept – no matter what. Our traditions judge her to be killed, to pay for her mistake with her life, and any way to prevent that from happening – I was willing to take, even if it meant me paying with my own life for hers.”
My shoulders hunched forward.
To be honest, I was moved by his words. The love he had for his sister, and his willingness to do whatever it would take to save her life, was so touching. A wave of sadness washed over me at the realization of how the prince was a better brother than mine. He would’ve given up his life for his sister to save her, while my brother gave up my life to save his own along with his girlfriend’s.
My heart swelled and a tear escaped my eye. Fingertips got rid of it right away before it could be acknowledged by him. I still wanted to appear strong even though I knew that my body language said I was anything but. Broken would be more apt.
“Honestly, I have no idea what I would’ve done if your brother didn’t have a sister to offer, but I would’ve found a way to save my sister nonetheless,” he told me. “Had I known you were not accepting of this marriage, I would’ve never agreed to it.”
“You wouldn’t?” I whispered my question, shock lacing my voice.
“Of course I wouldn’t, it is unacceptable on so many levels.”
I looked down again – what I felt in that moment was too much. Too much. It was the moment that removed any doubt in my heart that my brother had done all of that because there was no other choice. I couldn’t deny that part of my heart, the heart that loved him with everything in it, wanted to believe that he was helpless and this was really his only choice. Maybe it really was his only choice, but if he’d worked on finding another – I was sure he would’ve found one. The prince said he would’ve found a way, so why couldn’t Joseph?
It killed me to know for sure that all of this really was my brother’s doing.
My tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t find it in me to brush them away; there was no need to. My firm determination to appear strong faded into thin air, along with my last hope of learning that my brother cared for me and that