Some people say that in the very old days, the enemies used to deflower young girls and teenagers in front of their fathers and brothers to humiliate them, to let them see how their enemy could do whatever they wanted to their girls right before their eyes without them being able to do anything about it.” she explained. “They say that they even used to do it using a sword or a knife.”
“Oh, my God!” I gushed.
“Yeah. So, the families after that used to deflower their girls themselves to prevent them from facing that fate or to make them less appealing to the soldiers, you know? It’s like that saying, I’m not sure what exactly it was but it’s something along the lines of ‘I’ll kill my children myself instead of handing them over to evil hands’–or something like that.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.”
“So basically after that people kept doing the same thing, thinking it was a sign of honor or whatever.”
“That’s really, really nauseating,” I told her, still not able to process everything she was saying.
“Some people say that ancient civilizations used to do it to satisfy the Gods of Evil, giving them something of the bride, and what is more precious for a girl than her virginity, right?” A wave of sadness washed over her pitiful-ever-after face as she said that.
“Yeah.”
“Some others say that the ancients did it to control the girl’s lust, by circumcising her once she was barely aware of things around her, then once again on her first night of her adult life, because they believed that the soul’s discipline comes only from pain and humiliation.”
“Okay, seriously, we need to stop talking about that because I’m really going to throw up.” I wasn’t lying.
Those people were nutcases!
“I told you so.”
“Remind me not to doubt you again.”
Janna offered me a small smile–of course it didn’t reach her eyes, but it was there anyway.
Such a young, beautiful girl with a heavy heart and troubled features.
May God forgive you, Joseph. I never would.
“There is something I don’t understand, Janna,” I said after yet another minute of silence, and she waited for me to continue. “Was it convincing to you and the family that I would just give up everything, including my parents’ company, and come live here just like that? Wasn’t it a bit strange to any of you that I would easily do something like that?” I asked.
“No, of course not. Like I told you, I had some doubts, but Yoseph never said you’d give up your share of the company or anything like that. He told us that you would take care of the company’s branch here until it was finished, then you’ll be the manager of it from then on, while he takes over the management of the company’s headquarters in New York, which made sense and made it even more believable.”
I nodded. At least he wasn’t going to try and take the company away from me. Because when it came to that, he could only try. It was my parents’ company. I would’ve killed for it.
“I can’t stay here, Janna,” I told her honestly, finding her to be the only person I could tell this to because no one else would understand, just like I knew she found me to be the only one she could open her heart to because no one else would listen. “This is not my home. You have no idea how it’s hurting me that I’m away from my country and my people.”
Janna’s troubled features turned into wretched ones. She looked like someone who was in great pain, like someone was pulling her heart out. Slowly. And I was really upset that I had once again reminded her of what her actions did to me. The prince’s words found their way into my head yet again: ‘It’s killing her’.
But before I could apologize once again or remind her that I’d forgiven her, she asked, “Do you want to get a divorce?”
“Obviously,” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“What did Mazen say? Or haven’t you spoken to him about it yet?”
“I did. He said we had to wait for six months. But, Janna,” I looked her in the eyes. “I can’t stay here for six months. I’ll die.”
Our eyes stayed locked together in a strong stare, only to be broken by another tear falling from her eyes onto her cheek, matching the same motions that my own tears made.
“I’ll fix my mistake, Marie,” Janna whispered.
I looked at her with questioning