crush Orlando’s bones, Auggie gave up and retreated to his bed. He pulled the pillow back into place and breathed the smell of his own hair and the All detergent from the house laundry facilities. When the mattress dipped under Orlando’s weight, he rolled to face the wall, taking the pillow with him.
“So,” Orlando said. “How are classes?”
“Really, really good.”
“Awesome. I have this bitchin’ class on the history of rock.”
“Oh my God, did you just say bitchin’?”
“How’s your family?”
“They’re really, really good.”
“How are you, um, feeling?”
“Really, really good.”
“Augs, come on.”
Auggie lifted the pillow from his face. Orlando was studying him.
“What’s going on?” Orlando said. “You’ve been totally shut down this week. Everybody’s noticed. And—and, people saw you with Dylan.”
“It’s just a bad week.”
“I know we have this weird history, and I’ve tried really hard to make things right. I mean, I know I can’t make them right totally. But I want to make them better. I hope you think I’m your friend.”
“What? Yeah, obviously. I mean—” Auggie fumbled for a way to say it. “Yeah.”
“So you’d, you know, tell me. If something happened to you.”
“Huh?”
“With Dylan.”
Auggie shook his head. “What?”
“Like, when he was in here with you.”
“Oh my God,” Auggie said.
“If he raped you, Augs.”
“Yeah, I figured it out.”
“Well, you were staring at me like you had no idea what I was talking about.”
“He didn’t rape me. Jesus Christ. Wait. Has he done that to other guys?”
“I don’t think so.”
“So why in the hell would you say something like that?” Auggie scrambled to sit upright. “Why would you even think something like that?”
“I don’t know. We were just talking about how different you were acting, and somebody said maybe, you know. I mean, he’s older than you, and he’s got a reputation, and you’ve seemed so upset this week, and it just kind of made sense.” Orlando flushed and stood. “I’m so stupid. I’m sorry. I just—I know you think I’m, like, super pathetic and hung up on you, but I care about you, and it makes me sad that you’re sad, and I wanted to make things better.”
He was halfway to the door before Auggie said, “You’re not stupid.”
Orlando stopped. He rucked up his shirt absently, scratching his belly and the thick, dark hair there. The pinkish white of the scar was barely visible.
“It might help,” Auggie said, and then he stopped. “I mean, if I could just talk about it.”
This time, the smile was full and bright. “I’m pretty good at listening.”
So Auggie told him all of it, everything with Dylan, even the stuff about Theo. While he talked, Orlando sat on the bed, and then he pulled his legs up, hugging his knees to his chest. The smell of Axe and Dove shampoo was oddly comforting—sometimes Chuy used Dove, and it reminded Auggie of home and high school—and Orlando really was a good listener.
When Auggie finished, Orlando said, “I don’t get it. What is it about him?”
“Theo is—”
“Not him. You guys are crazy in love, you’re both just seriously fucked up.”
“I don’t know if I’d say—I mean, I think I might feel something really strong, but—”
“I’m talking about Dylan. What’s the deal? I mean, I get it: he’s hot. But there are a lot of hot guys, and you don’t go on dates, you ignore it when dudes try to pick you up. What’s the deal with Dylan? Why are you hung up on him? He won’t text you back; big deal. Go find some other hot fuckboy.”
“He’s not a fuckboy. That’s the whole point. He’s mature.”
In the hall, somebody turned on Beyonce, and then two voices competed to sing “Single Ladies” at the top of their lungs.
“He is,” Auggie insisted, catching Orlando’s doubtful look. “He wants a real relationship, and he doesn’t want to play games. He’s smart. He’s funny.”
“He’s funny?”
“Yeah. He’s really funny.”
“How is he funny? Give me an example.”
“I don’t know, he just is. And he’s not doing stupid, teenage stuff that I don’t care about.”
“Augs,” Orlando said gently, “you’re a teenager. For another year, at least. You don’t need to be ready for a real relationship. You don’t need to be past playing games. You get to do all that stuff because that’s what people are supposed to do at this age. If you don’t want to do it, that’s ok too. But you can also just have fun and hook up and figure out what you like and who you want to be with. That’s kind of the whole point.”
“Yeah, but—you know