Theo. You might not like it, but I’m an adult.”
“Adults don’t rush into murder investigations. Adults don’t take stupid risks.”
Standing, Auggie nodded. He scooped up his backpack and slung it over a shoulder. He wanted to say something profound and mature, but his eyes were stinging, and he had to blink frantically to keep from crying. He made his way to the door.
“They won’t pay you,” Theo said. “You told me they won’t pay you unless we both do this.”
“I’m not doing it to get paid. Not anymore.”
Theo made a frustrated noise. “At least tell me you’re not doing this because Orlando’s manipulating you, because you think you’re in love with him or something.”
“Please. Orlando couldn’t manipulate a marshmallow. And you know I’m not in love with him.”
“Are you doing this to prove something to me? Is that what this is about?”
“No, but it’s adorable that you thought it was a possibility.” Auggie took a deep breath. The air tasted like cumin and chai and cheap weed. He put his hand on the doorknob. “Thanks, Theo. For, you know, helping find him.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Theo said, kicking the empty chair and then standing. He grabbed his satchel and dragged the strap over his head. “You’re going to do whatever I tell you.”
Auggie bit his lip, but the smile slipped out anyway. He nodded.
“And we’re not taking any stupid risks.”
“Definitely not.”
“And I’m not going to manipulate Cart for information. I’m not going down that road.”
“That’s really ethical of you. Especially since he recently became your boyfriend.”
Theo stabbed a finger at Auggie. “Keep it up. Keep pressing your luck.” Then he let out a wild growl, grabbed Auggie, and maneuvered him out the door. “Come on. We’re going to talk to Orlando.”
“Great,” Auggie said. “And Theo?”
Theo stared straight ahead, still manhandling Auggie toward the elevators.
“You can just get back to me about that double date whenever you want.”
18
They crossed campus, heading south toward the Sigma Sigma house. Kids filled the quad, laughing, shouting, a group of them playing with bubble wands. Theo barely noticed any of it. He was still replaying the conversation in the office. He was still trying to figure out what had happened.
He’d had it all clear in his head. After the conversation with Cart, he’d scripted the whole thing out: what he was going to say to Auggie, how he was going to respond. He knew Auggie well enough to predict some of the moves, and he knew himself well enough to plan so that his outright fury at the thought of Auggie risking his life didn’t overwhelm him. It had all been going well until—until what?
Until Auggie had refused, fucking refused, to listen to reason.
And then the whole thing had come crumbling down. Christ, Theo thought, Jesus fucking Christ, if he’d cried, if he’d even shed a tear, you probably would have offered to dance the cha-cha naked with Dr. Wagner. That’s how much power you’re letting him have over you. One kid, a sophomore who can’t even grow chest hair. That’s how much control he has over your life.
Auggie’s laugh made Theo glance over, and he saw Auggie looking at his phone, where a short video was playing. In the video, a guy with blond curls was lying on his side, letting a puppy climb on him. The puppy got about to his shoulder when he tumbled off, and then the blond guy swore, fumbled, and caught the puppy at the last second. The video ended with the guy getting puppy kisses all over his face, his eyes squeezed shut.
Theo had taken some art classes, drawing and watercolors, at the encouragement of his therapist. After coming out, after his family’s reaction to it, he’d needed something. He’d needed anything. And although Theo didn’t consider himself an artist in any real sense of the word, he enjoyed sketching and drawing and painting, and he’d learned a little bit about how to look at the world. If he were going to draw Auggie, for example, it all came down to his mouth. Auggie was very handsome—a little too handsome, in fact, and growing into it in a way that made Theo’s chest tight—but it was his mouth that made him, well, Auggie. His huge, goofy smile when he was completely unselfconscious about something. The showstopper smile he used in his selfies. The way he worried his lip when he was reading intently. The flickers of expression—lines, tightness, compression—that made his mouth a barometer.
After Auggie had watched the