underwater, even with the mosquitos starting to come out, even with his clothes pasted to him with sweat.
“Do you want to change?” Theo asked.
“Will I blend in better with a polo and chinos and loafers?”
Theo rolled his eyes.
“You just want to see me get naked again.”
“I was asking a question. That’s all.”
“Oh my God, are you blushing?”
“Let’s play the no-talking game.”
“It’s so cute. Your face is the same color as those little red hairs in your beard.”
“No talking,” Theo said. “Starting now.”
Auggie just smirked when Theo handed over the keys.
“Shut up,” Theo said.
Auggie gave him his best injured expression.
“You heard me,” Theo said.
They drove first to a run-down apartment building south of Wroxall’s campus. It was a two-story walk-up with a crumbling brick façade. Someone had papered an entire bulletin board with flyers for FREE KARATE LESSONS – IN-HOME STUDIO – GIRLS ONLY.
“Jesus,” Auggie said.
“Please don’t call that number,” Theo said.
“It’s says girls only.”
“I know.”
Theo led Auggie to a ground-floor unit, 17, and rapped on the door. Only a single light was working in the corridor, and moths bumped up against the milky glass. From inside the apartment came a steady, thudding bass, and then screams of laughter. When the door opened, a girl stood there, her hair fried from too much bleaching, her eyes vacant. A chemical smell, like too-hot electronics, wafted out into the hall.
“Jessie?” Theo said.
The girl turned and shouted over the music, “Jess!” Then she stumbled back into the apartment.
“This is the girl Cal hung out with?” Auggie said. “I remember Wayne saying that name, Jessie. How’d you find her?”
“Chris told me her last name, and then I looked her up in the student directory.”
“What’s your plan?”
“I’m going to ask her where Cal is.”
“Uh huh. And when she doesn’t tell us?”
“Why wouldn’t she tell us?”
Auggie tried not to groan and said, “Maybe because they’re smoking meth right now. How’s that for a starter?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come up with a plan that meets your approval.”
“It’s ok. I’ve got an idea. Can you butch it up a little?”
“Excuse me?”
“Butch. I’m only asking for a little.”
“You’re the one who showed up at my house in loafers. Sockless.”
“Talk about Monster energy drinks. Stand—no, like this, like you’re always trying to make sure she notices your arms and shoulders. Ok. No, not at all. Do you not know how this works? You’ve got great arms. Killer shoulders. Why are you standing like you’re trapped in a paper grocery bag?”
“I’m standing like I normally stand, Auggie,” Theo said through gritted teeth.
“Never mind. Just pretend you like the Cardinals and look at her boobs.”
“I do like the Cardinals.”
“Yeah, like that, only try to be convincing.”
Theo was glaring at him, mouth open, when another girl came to the door. Her brown hair had highlights that needed touched up, and she was barefoot in jean shorts and a midriff top. “Yeah?”
“Jessie?” Auggie said.
“Yeah?”
“Where is that cheating motherfucker?”
She blinked. Her eyes were glassy. “Huh?”
“Cal. Where the fuck is he?”
“Listen, you can’t—”
“And don’t even think about protecting him. Did you know he was cheating on you?” Auggie thumped Theo on the chest. “He’s been pumping my bro’s girl for weeks now. Did he tell you that? Did you have any idea?”
This was when Auggie looked at Theo.
“And,” Theo said in an unnaturally deep voice, “he, uh, took my Axe body spray.”
For a moment, Auggie was speechless.
Fortunately, Jessie was already focused on something else. “What the fuck? What the fuck? That cheating motherfucker. I knew it! I knew he was doing somebody else. Where is she? I’m going to cut a bitch. Where is she?”
“He’s not here?”
“No. I haven’t seen that dickhole for almost two weeks. Who’s the girl? Who’s this bitch he’s been seeing? She’s your girlfriend?”
“You haven’t seen him for two weeks?”
“No. We did some blow a couple of weeks ago, and he didn’t even chip in. I haven’t seen him since. I knew that motherfucker was cheating. I knew it!”
Jessie turned away, heading into the apartment with jerkily fast steps.
“Any follow-up questions?” Auggie said.
“No. Is she . . .”
“She’s going to cut a bitch,” Auggie said. “Do you want to stay around for that part?”
“Not really.”
“Axe body spray?”
“Let’s play the no-talking game again.”
“Frankly,” Auggie said, “that would be a relief.”
As they backed out of the parking stall, Auggie said, “I thought maybe Saint Taffy’s next. That was another place Wayne mentioned.”
Theo shook his head. “That’s a cop bar. He might have gotten wasted there, and I’d believe he might have started a bender there