grow dumber rather than smarter? You know how I flunked all my exams at school.’
‘I don’t think you cared about them, so you didn’t do any work.’
‘True,’ I said. ‘Maia? Can I get some coffee, do you think? I’m feeling real woozy.’
‘Of course. With or without caffeine?’
‘Definitely with,’ I answered as she reached for the phone. ‘That healthy shit I was into last time I saw you was only for Mitch. His body was a temple.’
‘Really?’ Maia said as she waited for room service to answer. ‘I saw a photo of him in a magazine and he looked more like an old wreck.’
As Maia ordered the coffee, I chuckled, but then the chuckle turned into a groan, which turned into sobbing.
‘Hey,’ she said softly, ‘what is it?’
‘Oh, just . . . everything,’ I shrugged as the tears streamed down my cheeks. ‘Mostly Mitch, I guess. I’m not in a good place right now.’
‘I understand, darling. And I suppose you can never show it, can you?’
‘Too right I can’t. The media would have a fiesta and I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me.’
‘Well, I’m not a newspaper, just your sister, who loves you. Come here.’
Maia pulled me into her arms and I breathed in the lovely natural scent of her skin.
‘This feels like home,’ I smiled.
‘That’s a nice thing to say.’
‘You know, I went back to Atlantis a few weeks ago and it didn’t feel like home.’ I shook my head vehemently. ‘It didn’t feel like home at all.’
‘I know, Electra. It’s because Pa’s gone.’
‘It’s not just him who’s gone, but all you guys too. It’s kind of sad being there with just Ma and Claudia.’
‘But Ally said you saw her and you met Bear.’
‘Yeah, he’s very cute. She’s lucky she has something to love, and to love her. I . . . don’t. I don’t have anyone.’
I cried real hard then, right onto Maia’s white shirt that smelt all fresh and calm, just like her.
‘Sorry, I’m being self-indulgent, it’s the . . . stuff I took.’
I realised it was the first time I’d actually voiced the words to anyone close to me.
‘I know.’
‘Also,’ I said, wiping my dripping nose, ‘I just want to say sorry for being evil to you when I came home to Atlantis after Pa had died.’
‘Were you? I don’t remember.’
‘Yeah, I was. I said it didn’t matter what you looked like because you never saw a person from one month to the next. I didn’t mean it, Maia, really I didn’t. You’re so sweet and good and perfect – all the things I’m not.’
The doorbell rang and Maia went to get the coffee from the waiter.
‘Here you are,’ she said as she handed it to me. As I sat up, my head thundered and I felt sick, so I lay back down again.
‘Maybe in a minute.’
‘Okay. Darling Electra?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Do you think it would be a good idea to take a little time out and go and get some help?’
‘I get plenty of help now,’ I sighed. ‘I’ve fired five therapists in the past few months.’
‘That doesn’t sound good at all, but I meant more . . . formal help.’
‘Like what?’
‘There’s a very good place I know down in Arizona – Floriano’s friend went there and came out a new person. I—’
Despite my head, I sat up and glared at her. ‘Are you trying to suggest I need to go to rehab?’
‘Well, yes. Mariam said you’ve not been . . .’ – Maia sighed as she tried to find the right words – ‘all that well recently.’
‘Yeah, sure I haven’t! The love of my life announced he was marrying someone else and it’s been plastered all over the media! What was I meant to do? Jump for joy?’
‘You really loved him, didn’t you?’
‘Yeah, I did, but I’ll get over it. It’s just been a bad few weeks, that’s all. And why was Mariam telling tales on me?’
‘She wasn’t, Electra, she cares about you—’
‘She cares about her freaking job! That’s what she cares about!’
‘Darling Electra, please calm down . . .’
‘Wow!’ I exploded. ‘Boy, do I hate that phrase more than any other! I wonder how many times you guys and Pa and Ma said it to me!’
‘I’m sorry, I’m only trying to help—’
‘Well, don’t. I’m gonna be just fine.’ I nodded fiercely. ‘Just fine. Now, can we talk about something else, please?’
‘We can, Electra, but—’
‘No! I want you to tell me a story like you used to.’
‘Okay . . .’ Maia looked at me. ‘Which story do