mine too.’
‘In my world, age doesn’t stop rich men having relationships with women young enough to be their daughters.’
‘Maybe not, Electra, but your father would never have countenanced such a thing. He was a consummate gentleman. And besides . . .’
‘Besides what?’
‘I . . . nothing.’
‘Please, say what you were going to say.’
‘Well, there was always someone else for him.’
‘Really? Who?’
‘Now, Electra, I have said enough.’
Bear finally let out an enormous belch and, quick as a flash, Ma caught the milky liquid that dribbled from his mouth with the muslin.
‘Bien, bien, mon petit chéri,’ she whispered as she cleaned him up. ‘Isn’t he adorable?’
‘If anything can be adorable at five in the morning while vomiting, then yeah, he is.’
‘I remember so vividly walking up and down with you in here trying to soothe you when you cried,’ said Ma as she sank into a chair and nestled Bear into the crook of her arm. He now looked as though he’d drunk too much vodka and his eyes were rolling back in his sockets. ‘It seems like yesterday. And here we are with the first of a new generation. Your father would have been so happy if he had known about Bear before he died. But it was not to be.’
‘No. Ma?’
‘Yes, Electra?’
‘Were you with Pa when he found me and brought me home?’
‘No, I was here caring for your sisters.’
‘So you don’t know where I came from?’
‘Surely you must already know from your letter?’
‘I lost it,’ I shrugged, then stood up before she could reproach me. ‘I’m gonna go downstairs and get myself some coffee. Want anything?’
‘No thank you. I will put this little one back to bed and then follow you down when I’ve dressed.’
‘Okay, see you later.’
When Ally woke up at eight, I was already on my second vodka and wishing I’d arranged the jet back to New York for earlier. I had fourteen whole hours to somehow fill before I could leave. I seriously didn’t know how to do ‘downtime’; my boredom threshold was so low it was practically non-existent.
‘Fancy going out for a sail, Electra?’ Ally asked me over more of Claudia’s pancakes.
‘You mean on your Laser?’
‘Yes. The weather is beautiful and it’s perfect conditions – just enough of a breeze but not enough to make it unpleasant.’
‘You know that extreme sports aren’t my thing.’
‘Honestly, Electra, I’d hardly call a gentle sail on the lake when you just have to sit there and do nothing an “extreme sport”.’ Ally rolled her eyes. ‘Well, me and Bear are going, so I’ll see you later.’
I sighed heavily as she left, and ate a freshly baked muffin just because it looked lonely in the basket. Ally was back ten minutes later with Bear, who was wearing the cutest little life vest and was strapped around her waist in a papoose.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?’
‘No thanks,’ I reiterated, then wandered into the living room, deciding I should have a movie day. Switching on the screen, I looked through the piles of DVDs, but couldn’t find one that interested me.
‘Shit,’ I groaned, looking at my watch. What did I do here when I was bored and antsy as a kid?
You ran, Electra . . .
‘So I did,’ I murmured to myself. If I was upset or someone was cross with me (and it was normally both), I’d just take off into the mountains behind the house – I’d found a winding path that took me over some rough terrain, but wasn’t totally vertical – and run and run all the thoughts out of my head.
I paced up the stairs to my room and in my bottom drawer found my old Lycra leggings and a T-shirt with a rude slogan on it that Ma had insisted I turn inside out when I’d worn it. Beneath the clothes, I saw one of the old sketchbooks that I used to doodle in as a child. I pulled it out and leafed through the pages, which were half filled with pencil sketches I’d made of dresses with outrageous ruffled collars, jeans with a split running from thigh to hem, and shirts that looked formal at the front, but had no back . . .
‘Wow,’ I muttered, remembering the shirt I’d worn only recently for a photoshoot that was almost identical in style to the ones I’d drawn. I’d even attached samples of fabric I’d found, all of them brightly coloured. I’d loved bright colours when I was younger. I slipped