week there’s gossip about me with a new man – or the fact I’ve dumped a man, or haven’t dumped him but am screwing someone else at the same time . . . Jesus! Sorry,’ I added hastily.
‘It’s okay. Thanks for the apology.’
‘And you know something else? I have earned a load of money, and I don’t know how much exactly, but I’m gonna find out, and when I do, I’m gonna buy myself a real home and then start doing stuff that matters. Like helping kids like Vanessa.’
‘Hallelujah!’ Miles said, and gave me a slow round of applause.
‘Please don’t make fun of me. I’m being serious. Completely serious.’
‘I know you are. And I’m loving you for it. Sounds like you’ve had an epiphany.’
‘Maybe I have,’ I said, feeling suddenly exhausted and slumping into my chair. ‘I haven’t been in control of my life for maybe . . . ever. Oh, for a few days in Paris, before I got spotted, I guess. All this booze and drugs and not knowing about my finances, and letting everyone else make all the decisions for me, is wrong and I’m gonna change it, Miles, I really am. Cheers.’ I toasted him as I threw back the rest of my water.
‘You go, girl!’ he said. ‘And you know what?’
‘What?’
‘All that stuff you just said about the hard work and the fame?’
‘Yes?’
‘You can flip it on its head, just like an egg turned sunny side up, and use your high profile to do good. For example, bring those darned cameras along to my drop-in centre and start raising awareness of what goes on out there on the streets.’
‘You know what? You’re right,’ I said. ‘And you know something else?’
‘What?’
‘I think I’m ready to go home.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yeah. I mean, I’ll talk to Fi, see what she thinks, but I feel fired up, you know?’
‘I can see that, but you need to be careful, Electra; the bad times, they’ll roll in and—’
‘I know,’ I cut him off. ‘I know.’
‘You’re doing real well, Electra, and I’m proud of you.’
‘Thanks, Miles,’ I said and stood up. ‘I need to go finish writing those apology letters before tomorrow.’
‘Okay. And Electra?’
‘What?’
‘You’re only twenty-six years old. You had to grow up too quick, just like Vanessa. You’ve got plenty of time to do some good, so cut yourself some slack, won’t you?’
‘Sure. Thanks.’ I began to walk away from the table, then I stopped and turned. ‘Hey, how old are you? You talk like you really are an old man.’
‘Thirty-seven – soon to be thirty-eight. Like you, I’ve seen a lot. I guess it makes you old before your time.’
‘Maybe we both need some fun,’ I said as I began to walk away.
‘Maybe we do,’ I heard Miles mutter behind me.
‘So, do you think I’m ready to leave?’ I asked Fi the next morning, having filled her in on my weekend activities and my ‘epiphany’, as Miles had called it.
‘You’re the only person who can judge that. This time last week, I would have said no, but somehow the cork got pulled and all the things that you’d bottled up for years have spilled out.’
‘Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it,’ I murmured.
‘I think that maybe you should see how you go in the next couple of days, because often there can be euphoria after a revelation, followed by a downer. You need to get your balance back a little, don’t you think?’
‘I suppose so. How about I plan to leave on Thursday maybe? It means I’d get home for the weekend and have some time to adjust before real life begins again. And instead of having a friend come visit me, they can take me home.’
‘That sounds like a plan. Which friend would you like to do that?’
‘Mariam,’ I said firmly. ‘Maia’s so far away in Rio and I don’t think it’s fair on her to ask her to come all this way. She has a family to look after.’
‘Well, it’s up to you. Whenever she’s called to see how you’re getting on, she’s said she’s happy to make the trip. Try to remember you’ve been ill, Electra, and when people are sick, those that love them rally round.’
‘No, I’d like it to be Mariam.’
‘Right, well, I’ll recommend to your doctor that I think you’re good to go on Thursday, okay?’
‘Okay,’ I agreed. ‘You know, this place has been amazing. In the last week anyway, and sometimes it’s been talking to the others in here that’s really helped. I