at a number of Marks and Spencer packs of olives, sun-dried tomatoes and mozzarella, as well as a couple of packets of posh crisps and an assortment of sandwiches. ‘Someone’s been busy this morning.’
‘I realised I needed to pull a few rabbits out of hats to make up for last night,’ he said with a sheepish tilt of his head. ‘I was hoping you’d be at the parkrun this morning, and when you weren’t I knew I needed to move fast. I was worried you might be going out today. I got hold of Lynn’s number from Mum and called her to get your address.’
I winced. ‘I have a confession. I chickened out of going this morning. I’d decided that after last night, this…’ I pointed between the two of us, ‘probably wasn’t worth the aggro.’
Sam’s mouth crumpled momentarily but he rallied quickly to give me a reluctant smile. ‘I guess I don’t blame you. I’m really sorry about what happened last night. I just didn’t know what to do. I never dreamed that Victoria would turn up. I’ve no idea how she even knew where we were.’
‘Tracking your phone?’ I asked. ‘Shelley did that to me once; she thought it was hilarious. For weeks she was sending me what I thought were random texts when I just happened to be in Tesco. I’d get a shopping list by text and a “don’t suppose you’re anywhere near a shop, you couldn’t just pick a couple of things up for me” message. Once I was in Aylesbury and she asked me to pick up a delivery from Argos. It turned out she’d seen where I was and had gone online to order something knowing I was nearby. Cheeky minx. It took me ages to figure out what she’d been up to.’
Sam tried to bite back a wry smile. ‘That is pretty funny.’
‘Yeah, being my cousin’s shopping bitch for two months was just hilarious.’ I shook my head as he still diplomatically managed not to laugh out loud.
‘And I think you’re probably right about Vic tracking my phone.’ He let out a long, noisy sigh. ‘I don’t know what got into her. She’d been fine about the break-up.’
Someone hadn’t clocked the black-widow series on Instagram. I winced. ‘Fine? Really?’
‘OK, fine’s not the right word. Sort of accepting. There’s no good way of breaking up with someone. I did my best to be as kind as I could about it, but it was really difficult. How do you split up with someone without telling them that you’ve met someone else?’ He pushed an impatient hand through his unruly hair. ‘That’s got to be a killer. So I didn’t tell her that’s why I was finishing things. Maybe I should have done.’
‘What did you tell her?’ I asked softly, conscious of the whiteness of his knuckles on his twisting fingers.
‘The old, it’s not you, it’s me.’ He scratched at his neck as he stared across the canal. ‘There’s a reason for clichés; they fit the situation. Now I realise I should have been honest at the outset. I guess I left her with some hope that if I’d changed my mind without any strong reason after four years, I might change it back.’
Unfortunately, I thought he’d made a very good point.
‘I know it’s not easy for her. I completely get that I’m the bastard here. I’ve been deliberately keeping a low profile. Not rocking the boat. I haven’t been out with any of our group for a month, so I don’t upset her. Mike, my best mate, is going out with Vic’s best friend, Paige. Paige is refusing to speak to me and gives Mike a hard time if he sees me. And I get it; I’m the one who’s messed everything up. All the girls think I’m a total wanker. And the lads are keeping their heads down.’ His mouth twisted wryly. ‘I’m about as popular as a fart in a spacesuit right now.’
Sam’s patent disgust with himself made me put a hand on his knee which was jumping up and down, the sunlight glinting from the golden hairs on his legs. He looked so vital and full of life that the downbeat expression on his face seemed a terrible anomaly.
I had no idea what to say. Selfish Jess didn’t want to hear any of this but Jess, the daughter of my mother, needed to ask as some sort of penance for being the person Sam had picked instead of Victoria.
I let the