bad way and I was worried your dad might seek custody, and that would have finished her off. And then when she was better, I didn’t want to risk her ever going back into that state again, so I didn’t tell her I was in touch in with him. But over the years, I’ve sent him photos and news. You always seemed so disinterested in him; I didn’t feel it was my place to rock the boat unless you asked about him. But he was desperate to hear about you. He never wanted to leave you, but your mum gave him no choice. I don’t know all the ins and outs and she never spoke of it – and I didn’t like to ask, not once she was better.’
‘And I was too scared of what it might do to Mum if I asked about Dad.’
‘The thing is … she’s been hiding behind that for a long time now. And now I wonder if I’ve done the right thing. What’s happening with Victoria is like seeing history repeat itself. You deserve a life and to be happy with the person you chose. It’s not for someone else to prevent that. I’ve been complicit in helping you lose out on knowing your dad.’ Her mouth crumpled and she ran a shaky hand through her hair. ‘I should have encouraged you earlier to seek him out.’
‘I don’t think it would have made a difference.’ I slipped my hand into hers. ‘I was protecting Mum too.’
‘And I don’t think protecting her was necessarily the right thing to do, for you.’
‘I saw my brothers … my half-brothers. I spoke to Alicia. It’s weird knowing you have family out there that you know nothing about.’
‘You have grandparents, too. Evelyn and David.’
I winced. ‘Alicia seemed nice.’
‘She is. I’ve only corresponded with her. Your half-brothers sound like quite a handful.’
‘Toby and Ben,’ I said picturing the two dark-haired boys, with eyes so like mine.
‘Yes, she…’ The pause couldn’t have been more pregnant as the seconds ticked by and I heard the steady drip, drip of the water outside. ‘She called. She was worried about you.’
I buried my head in my hands at the sudden recollection of me backing down the lane, running away from a perfectly nice woman.
‘Oh God. I made an idiot of myself. I was so shocked that she knew who I was. I panicked. I practically ran away.’
‘You could go back. You’ve got the rest of this week off. Why don’t you go and see them? Get away from here.’
My head shot up as I looked at my aunt.
‘Bloody genius. That’s a brilliant idea.’ An escape from the overwhelming emotions that were threatening to derail me. Where was my pragmatism? My common sense? My eternal optimism?
‘There are two sides to every story, you know. You know that you and Sam haven’t done anything wrong.’
‘Try telling Victoria that.’
‘Exactly,’ said Aunty Lynn looking exactly like a wise old owl, as she blinked very slowly. ‘Perhaps it’s time you heard your dad’s side of the story.’
‘I wouldn’t have listened … before.’
‘No, I don’t think you would.’ Lynn’s voice was calm, and I was soothed by the complete lack of judgement.
Funny how things can suddenly turn on their head. I was mad as hell at Victoria for not letting go, and for making things so much harder, when Sam and I had tried to do the right thing. Suddenly, I was very keen to hear what my father had to say.
Chapter Thirty
‘Is your young man not with you?’ asked the owner of the Black Bull in her soft West Country accent when I checked in.
I shook my head. ‘Not this time,’ I said.
‘Good journey? You came by train?’
‘Not bad, I had to wait for the connection for Ottershaw, but the journey was so pretty I didn’t really mind the last leg.’ Funny to think that I’d only decided to come yesterday afternoon.
The long journey had been lifted by the news that Victoria’s vlog post had been taken down, as well as her Instagram post, although I had no idea whether this was because Sam had got hold of her or the trustees’ lawyers had served their letter on her. I’d had no word from Sam, not a single text or message. Part of me was grateful and another part was a tiny bit aggrieved that he had given in so easily – but then that was what I wanted, didn’t I? I hated women who played games, who were