though it was slightly sad. “You can talk about my brother. I won’t get mad at you.”
“Okay.” So I did. “Zellman apologized for being slightly mean to me before. He said he didn’t mean it the way it came out. Jordan’s nice, and they’re all funny. I really like Bren and Taz. Thank you for inviting them.”
He nodded, his eyes falling back to our hands.
“And I liked your brother,” I added after a moment. “He’s nice.”
His eyes lifted back to mine. “Good.” He laid down on his pillow and turned toward me. He pulled me to him, our legs tangling. Then he said softly, “I know my brother is a good person. It’s half the reason I hate him. If he were a bad guy, I wouldn’t feel like a shit person.”
I held my breath.
His eyes fell to my mouth. “I’m jealous of him. That’s why I hurt him so bad.”
My breath caught in my chest. “Because of your dad, right?”
He shrugged against the blanket. “Not totally. I think just the whole situation. I’ve seen their mom, and she’s nice too. I mean, I get why she and Stephen didn’t work. They don’t seem to fit, but they tried. They tried for their kids. That’s respectable.”
I cocked my head up. “Your mom’s nice.”
He looked away. “My mom’s damaged. So am I. He did that to us.”
Oh.
Oh God.
I closed my eyes and a wave of fierce protection, fierce love, fierce everything for him rolled over me, almost drowning me. I sputtered with the need to clasp him, anchor him, take away his hurt. But I couldn’t. That stuff was deep inside.
He had put it there.
“Blaise…” I reached up to touch the side of his face.
He caught my hand, pulled it to his mouth, and pressed a kiss there. “You told me you loved me tonight.”
I sucked in my breath. Oh God. I had.
The night came back to me in parts, but I remembered sitting on his lap. I remembered babbling, a lot.
“Blaise.”
“Did you mean it?” His eyes caught mine. There was a yearning there.
I nodded. “Yes.” It left me in a whisper. “I love you.”
He didn’t respond—not right away.
Then he nodded. “I love you too.”
“You do?”
Poof. The headache was gone.
Or, kinda. I smiled.
“I do. I love you.” His eyes moved back to my mouth, and he pulled me even tighter against him. His leg hitched higher, rubbing.
My breath quickened.
I was feeling the love. Or, I was feeling something down there.
“I want to have slow sex with you.”
Oh, dear Lord. “Okay,” I whispered.
Grinning, he moved over me, his mouth found mine, and he did what he’d said.
I was pretty sure slow sex was code for making love.
45
Blaise
I headed out before everyone else, needing wind and speed.
There were four things in my life I now loved: my mom, Aspen, soccer, and ATV racing. The place called it dune buggying, but it was more riding an ATV up and down a large beach. This early in the morning, I had the entire place to myself.
The guy drove my ATV up and double-checked my gear, and then I got the go-ahead to light this place up. I did.
I was an adrenaline junkie—had been for almost forever. Cliff diving. Jumping out of a plane. Bungee jumping. I was up for it. But this morning, I wasn’t doing it to escape my non-bio dad, which was usually the case. I wasn’t trying to hide from a household I was trapped in and not giving a fuck if I died or not. This morning felt different.
It was like a goodbye, in an odd way.
That way of life was done, and I knew it was because of Aspen. It was time to let go of some of my haunts. Griffith couldn’t hurt me anymore. He couldn’t hurt my mom either, but the other shit was my brother and sister. They were here. They didn’t have to come, and they’d stayed to their side of the campsite last night.
I had to let that shit go too.
I didn’t have to let them in, but Taz would weasel her way. She already was. Our conversation had been stilted on my end, but she’d been laughing the whole time. She knew I was trying, so I’d gotten an earful about her and her boyfriend—more than I wanted. She enjoyed torturing me with it. When she’d started to get into their sex life, I said goodnight.
She laughed the entire way back.
But it had felt good.
Sitting with her, talking to her, that felt good.
I kicked