bugging me. I didn’t know what it was or why I was wasting my time, but I did.
I noticed she wasn’t in any of her classes Tuesday morning, so I asked around. And then she was back in classes that afternoon, but I heard she was working on projects on her own.
Wednesday was the same thing. That day I heard she spent the entire afternoon in the library.
On Thursday, Jamie tapped my arm, nodding to Aspen as she hurried past us in the hallway. “Heard you’ve been asking about her.”
“Yeah. You know stuff?”
“I know she got permission to finish all her shit this week. My mom is friends with one of the clerical ladies in the front office. They said the girl could officially not come to school any more as of tomorrow.”
Well. Crap.
My chest tightened at that thought, though I had no idea why.
Jamie frowned at me. “Why you so interested in her? She’s been a nobody all year.”
My teeth instantly ground against each other. I hated that word, but I shrugged. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”
He grinned. “You don’t want a new BJ girl?”
I swore under my breath. “Tell me that’s not what you guys are calling Mara?”
“Mara. Penny. Whoever. They all get on their knees at some point, don’t they?”
I shot him a look, but he wasn’t speaking with disdain or condescension. He was just saying it, like it was a fact. “You know it’s talking like that that made me go at Strandling, right?”
He rubbed his chest. “You know I don’t mean shit by it. I don’t think less of those girls. They could turn it around and say we’re all just fuck boys, because ain’t that what we do? We service them too.”
That was one way of thinking about it.
He frowned, straightening next to me. “You ever been in love?”
I frowned. “No, not like that.” I’d never had a reason for that. I got what I needed without having to do the relationship. Some guys liked that, but it wasn’t in the cards for me. I shrugged. “I suppose one day, maybe? But why, though?”
He shrugged. “No clue, man.”
We went back to watching people pass us in the crowd. Many looked our way, but we were used to that. We were at the top of this school, so we got attention. It was the same way everywhere we went in town, and even if we went to other towns. We all looked like rich assholes. We walked like it, drove rich-prick cars, and there was an air about us—confidence, arrogance, whatever.
Entitlement.
Yeah. I could say it.
But while others thought that way, believed that way, I didn’t. It was a shield for me.
And with that last thought, I’d had enough of school. “Wanna go to Zeke’s and get wasted?”
Jamie smirked. “Can we bring some girls?”
I snorted. “Of course.”
I was in the mood to fuck and forget.
10
Aspen
I left on Thursday after school, and my parents thought I was camping for the night. They’d be in for a surprise when I didn’t come back until Monday—if they noticed. You heard that right. Monday. That meant Thursday night, all day Friday, all day Saturday, and hell to the yeah all day on Sunday. I’d come back Sunday night if I wanted to, but knowing me, maybe I wouldn’t.
I’d been like this before Owen died, but I’d really been like this since he passed.
Maisie was packed, and I was almost out of Fallen Crest when I pulled into the gas station. It was on the outskirts, right before I’d hit open road. I could turn right and end up in Roussou or go left and drive through Frisco. Those two towns made a weird triangle with ours, but this time, my plans were somewhere farther than Roussou. There was a small state park an hour past, and I was going to try it out. There was a river I could camp next to.
Plus, the redwoods.
I was super stoked.
After filling the tank, I went inside. I’d made my usual trip to the grocery store, so I had most of what I’d need, but this was a tradition of mine. I liked to stock up on coffee and gas station food on the way to wherever I was going, unless it was super close—those trips weren’t worth the gas station food. I perused the aisles, my coffee in one hand and so far a bag of jerky in the other. I mostly liked the hot deli selections, and I know, they’re gross on