do you remember?”
I grinned, pulling out some creamer. “I idolized you and Owen. I remember everything you guys did.”
He groaned. “I’m actually embarrassed.”
I laughed lightly.
It felt good.
It felt…right. And that was weird.
I sipped my coffee. “Why’d you come early this weekend?”
He shrugged, hiding a yawn behind his mug. “I decided to come early.” He was quiet a moment. “I didn’t know you’d moved up a grade.” His eyes lingered on me. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d be missing your own graduation?”
I scoffed. “You’re right, Nate. I must be the genius in this family if you can’t figure that one out. You would’ve said something to Mom and Dad, and you all would’ve made me go.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I agree with your boyfriend. He told me before he realized I didn’t know you were graduating this year. I agree with the punk.” Nate scowled. “Owen would want you to do it, and you know that. It’s why you didn’t say anything.”
He didn’t get it.
No one did. Even Blaise.
Especially Blaise.
Owen would’ve understood.
“I’m a loser.”
“Aspen.” Nate put down his mug.
I moved away, turning away. “No. I am. I mean, I just am. Girls either didn’t like me—even in elementary school—or they only liked me for Owen. You and he were popular. I wasn’t. I’ve always been ‘off’ from the mainstream, you know? School was where Owen succeeded socially. Not me. That wasn’t for me, and I don’t want to go tomorrow because Owen should’ve been there. And there would’ve been cheers for him, party plans. And it wouldn’t have mattered to me that none of them were my friends, because they were Owen’s. None of those people will be there tomorrow. I’m the loser, and I’ll get polite claps. And that’ll hurt, because I’ll feel like I didn’t live up to his memory. Like I was supposed to fill his shoes or something, like I should get all the cheers for him, you know? Does that make any sense?”
Nate was quiet a beat. “I’ll cheer for you.”
I snorted. “A pity cheer.”
“No,” he barked. “No, Aspen. Not a fucking pity cheer. You’re my sister, and I’ve been an asshole absent brother. Jesus. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but your boyfriend is right. You should go tomorrow, and I don’t care who cheers for you and who doesn’t. I will. I know your boyfriend will, and based on the two wonderful meetings I’ve had with him, I’ve got a feeling he’s going to make everyone cheer for you.”
I grinned because he would. That was a Blaise thing to do.
“But it’s not—”
“Owen would want you to. That’s really the only answer you need. You have to, for him.” His voice dropped, growing hoarse. “I know we’re not that close, and that’s something I want to change, but you have to know that I only left you and Owen in Hillcrest because it was you and Owen. You two always had each other. I knew you guys were good as long as the other was around. And when he died last year—I don’t know.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I’ve been so involved in other people’s families that I’ve forgotten my own. I forgot you. I’m sorry for that.”
Well…
That was nice to hear.
I almost felt like yodeling, that’s how nice it was. I never yodeled.
“Wanna go camping with me?” I asked on a whim.
He laughed. “Wait. You’re serious?”
I nodded. “I really like camping.”
Nate’s lips pressed together. “I’m not a big camping person.”
Oh. I looked down.
He sighed. “Fuck’s sake. Really? Camping?” He gestured out the window. “What about your boyfriend? He thinks you’re pissed at him.”
I grinned. “He kinda threw me under the bus. He can sweat a little.”
Nate’s eyes narrowed. His top lip began to curl. “He doesn’t seem like the type who wants to sweat about hurting his girlfriend.”
“He’ll get over it.” I shrugged. “Nate. Too much talking. More camping. Let’s get a move on. You owe me for all these years of forgetting about me.”
He groaned. “Why do I have a feeling you’re going to throw that in my face a whole bunch more?”
“Because I will.” I was smiling so hard now. “Until you no longer owe me.”
He bit out a laugh, but he didn’t gripe the entire time we were packing Maisie.
I wasn’t really going to make my brother camp with me, but he didn’t need to know that. We would drive out to a campsite, and he could set everything up. I’d make him hang out with me for