hand like that."
"It was a bad place. I was sent there because I was a naughty girl." She guides my hand toward the front of her tunic. "But I guess we can talk about that later…if you'd rather do something else?"
And she puts my hand on her teat again, just as she did last night.
She still wants me, despite knowing the truth of who I am.
15
RAVEN
Okay, so that went a little better than expected.
I'm not entirely sure that U'dron understands exactly what I've told him, but he doesn't hate me. I can try and hammer home the finer points of just how bad I am later, but for now, I just feel a huge relief. He doesn't think stripping is dirty and wrong, or that I'm a big slut for doing so. I've dated so many guys that loved the thought of being with a stripper…until I had to go to work. Then, they had a problem with it. Somehow, though, I don't know if U'dron would? Granted, I don't want to shake my ass for seashells on the beach, but even if I did, something tells me that as long as I'm into it, U'dron would be, too.
That just makes my heart squeeze with all kinds of fuzzy warm feelings.
He doesn't pull away when I put his hand back on my breast again. Maybe I'm being ultra-forward, but I know that the best way to show a guy that you like him is to really, really show him. And I want U'dron to realize that I have all kinds of feelings for him, and that I want our friendship to go beyond just being star-watching buddies.
U'dron's gaze flicks between my breast that he's palming and my face, like he can't decide where to look first. I lean forward, closing the distance between us, and wrap my arms around his neck. "Can I kiss you? Or do we need to talk more?"
"I feel like we have talked quite a bit," U'dron says, voice hoarse. He studies my face as I move deliberately closer. "Are you sure…it will not bother you…who I am?"
I laugh, because it's so ridiculous to me that I'd hold something so small against him. "My rap sheet is much worse than yours, I assure you." Of course, that makes me feel uncertain all over again and I hesitate. "You…I should probably explain what prison is to you. I was an outcast, too, because my people didn't want me anymore." It's a simpler way of saying it, but I need him to understand before we have a make-out party. The last thing I want him to have is early morning regrets. "In a way, I was like Juth. And you said that outcasts weren't people—"
"And you reminded me that they were, and we should be fair to them, because the world we were in before is no longer the world we are in now. Is that correct?" He smiles at me, his expression both wry and knowing.
Well, he's got me there. "I just need you to be certain. It's important to me that you don't decide that I'm disgusting or something after we have sex." Because that would really, really kill me, and it's a small beach. There would be nowhere to hide, and I'd have to look at him every day. It'd be a little like Bridget and A'tam's uncomfortable situation, except A'tam doesn't think Bridget is disgusting…she just wants nothing to do with him.
U'dron's big hands settle at the small of my back. "We do not have to do anything if it makes you uncomfortable," he murmurs, and I feel so damn dainty in his arms. My knees are on the sands, but my front is pressed up against his, and I feel like a doll, fragile and breakable and so delicate. It's a new feeling for me, and I never thought of myself as one of those girls that likes to feel tiny against her man…but I do now.
Already, U'dron's ruining me for other guys, and we haven't even really had a good make-out session yet.
"You should know something about me," I whisper to him. "I don't have a lot of boundaries. Not a lot makes me uncomfortable. My mother was a hippie-commune-type—that much is true—and I grew up seeing a lot of naked people and free love…and drug use. Not much shocks me. If you told me you needed a crab up your ass to come, I'd probably be down with it."
He looks confused.