fingers brushing over my cock, and I have never wanted anything as badly as I wanted this beautiful hyoo-man in that moment. But when she brought up pleasure mating, I had to be honest with her.
I cannot take a mate, because I am not a true hunter.
She must have realized this, because recognition dawned on her face and she shrank back from me. My body is filled with shame at the betrayed look on her face. Of course she wants a real hunter to take care of her and tend to her needs. In the eyes of my clan, I am still nothing but a boy. I will never be anything but a boy until I finish a successful hunt at the proving…and now that will never happen.
I can never have R'ven.
So many words rise in my throat. I watch her as she sleeps, her slender shoulders hunched as she curls around herself. She is but a breath away. She should know that she is the most perfect of females. The most lovely. The most kind. That her spirit sings to mine as fiercely as anything I have ever felt before. That she deserves better than me.
The words will not rise from my throat, though, because despite knowing this…I still want her. The thought of another male touching her makes me mad with frustration and hunger. I think of silent O'jek, with his capable ways and his inclination to go hunting…he would not be right for her. R'ven needs people around her. She likes groups, and O'jek prefers to be alone. I'rec is too fascinated with T'ia and her games, and he has no patience for music. A'tam wants B'shit and R'ven deserves to be first in her male's eyes. And R'jaal…
I clench my fists, because R'jaal would be a good mate to her, but I do not want that. I do not want that at all.
I think of her pretty teat, how she flashed it to me with an inviting look on her face. To think that such a beautiful, desirable female approached me for mating makes my knees weak. If I was a true hunter, I would have her on her back in the sand this very moment, thrusting into her sweet heat. I know R'ven's body would be soft and perfect to the touch, as supple and responsive as the teat I touched so briefly.
I close my eyes, my cock leaking pre-cum into my loincloth so steadily that I know I am close to losing control.
The world is cruel to present me with such an enticing female, knowing I cannot touch her. Or…I can, but when she finds out the truth of who I am, she will be terribly disappointed. She will be humiliated that she has mated with someone who is not a true hunter. Shame will follow her.
I cannot allow that, so I must control myself.
I glare up at the stars, hating all of them in this moment.
I wake up before dawn, my senses on alert.
Something is…off.
Frowning to myself, I immediately glance over at R'ven. She is asleep, her mouth open slightly, her mane spilling out onto the sands. Her legs are curled up under the fur and she shivers in the misty, chilled morning. Yearning fills me at the sight of her. I want nothing more than to pull her body against mine and tuck her along my chest, share my warmth with her…but I would not be welcome. I glance up at the sky, and it is ominous, the twin suns hidden behind dark clouds. Perhaps today is not a good day for travel. I think about the icy waters I swam through to find this beach and wonder if we would be better off staying one more day and crafting a raft big enough for all four of us to rest upon comfortably. I rub a hand down my face and pad over to the fire that has somehow gone out again.
Irked, I crouch near it, only to realize that sand has been poured atop the coals. I scowl and look over at Juth's sleep spot, since this is no doubt his handiwork…but his place is empty.
He is gone. His boy, too.
With a grunt, I move over to their sleeping spot and put my hand on the sand. The impressions of their sleeping bodies are there, but the sand is cold; they have been gone for some time. Did they get frightened and wander away? I look up and down the beach,