it means R'ven will be making that music alongside me. My people do not put words to songs, just croon in time to the beat. R'ven is different, though. She always has words with her songs, and even if they are strange words, I like hearing her chant them. She has a soft, sweet voice that can grow loud when she needs it to carry.
Most of all, though, I like that when she sings, she looks at me and smiles at me. It is like we share a moment with the music when we are together, and it makes me feel…things.
Things I should not want because I am not a true hunter. I cannot take a pleasure mate until I have completed the proving…and now that I never will, I cannot have a mate unless resonance steps in. But I can smile at R'ven. I can look at her, and I can play my drum…and I can hope.
Which is why I notice when she does not come to the fire. No one else seems to pay attention, and I play a half-hearted beat for a time before I give up. I grab a bowl of delicious stew from Shail and scarf it down before asking for another. Even though we landed here over two turns of the moon ago, I am still shocked that food is so plentiful, that we can eat as much as we like and it is not a problem.
Shail hands me a second bowl and smiles, so I decide to ask her. I try to seem casual. "Where is R'ven tonight? I need her singing to go with my drum."
The look she gives me is shrewd. "I guess she didn't feel like hanging out. You want me to ask?"
"No," I blurt out quickly. "I was merely curious—"
"Hey, Tia," Shail calls out, and the young, pretty female with big dark curls leaves I'rec's side and moves toward Shail. T'ia casts me an assessing look, a smile curving her mouth. I remember I mouth-mated her when we played the spinning game, and it got my hopes up…until she mouth-mated several others, too. Even now, she teases both I'rec and O'jek, and S'ssah and R'jaal. No one is special to her, so I ignore her attempts to draw me in.
I do wish Shail had pulled another aside, though.
"U'dron was wondering where Raven is," Shail says casually. "Do you know?"
"Is he, now?" T'ia twirls a lock of her mane around her finger and giggles.
I clutch the bowl, feeling foolish. "I merely wanted to hear her singing…"
"It's okay, honey." Shail touches my arm in a motherly way. "You're being a gentleman. It's very sweet to ask after her." She gives T'ia a pointed look. "Isn't it?"
"Very sweet," T'ia echoes, smirking.
I fight the urge to abandon the gathering altogether and suck down my stew, lifting the bowl to my face.
"She's in a pissy mood," T'ia eventually says. "Said she didn't want to hang out. She needed to realign her chakras or something. You know how she gets."
I set my empty bowl down as Shail crosses her arms. "Go find her and ask if she's okay. That doesn't sound like Raven to me. She's a gentle soul."
T'ia makes a whining sound in her throat. "But I'm talking, Gail. I don't want to leave. Me and I'rec—"
"I will go find her," I say quickly. "There is no need for T'ia to abandon the celebration."
"Are you sure?" Shail asks. When I nod, she pats me on the arm again. "Tell her I'm keeping some food put aside for her. She'll have something to eat even if she's not in the mood to join us."
"I will share this with her," I say gravely, and then head away from the group by the fire. O'jek gives me a curious look, but I pick up my drum and hand it to him. "You are now in charge of the music."
He makes a sound in his throat that might be disgust.
I step away, heading toward the large cave all of the unmated females sleep in. No one is inside, so I skirt the encampment, looking for a familiar slender form and a pale mane. There are trails heading up to the hills, but I do not think R'ven would go into the mountains at night, alone. She does not join the others with hunting lessons, stating that she prefers not to kill anything and “wound its spirit.” She spends her time at camp most days, sewing or working hides,