horrible bitch.”
I blink at her and stand up. “I understand,” I start.
“You’re a fucking pushover. A weak pushover.”
I grit my teeth. I can’t listen to her. I can’t.
“It’s okay,” I add as Annabelle gives me an odd look at my hesitancy.
“Are you sure?” she presses.
I nod.
“What did you have to tell me?” she asks, coming closer.
“It’s about Shax,” I say. “I went to him.”
“What?” she asks, her eyes going wide. “But that would’ve hurt you. You didn’t have to do that.”
I shrug as Leviathan laughs and laughs in my head.
“Are you buying this? Really? She couldn’t care less about your pain.”
“It’s okay,” I mutter. “He is being held captive by the other side. I don’t know many details, but I got that much.”
“WHAT?” Annabelle thunders but then presses her lips together.
I know that I flinched at her temper and she reined it in. That proves to me she cares about me.
“You are worthless, Sid. Remember that. Worthless and weak.”
I try to fight back the tears that are threatening to come out.
She’s right. I am worthless and weak and disgusting.
“I’m sorry,” Annabelle says. “I’m just…they’re holding him against his will?”
I nod because I can’t speak.
We stare at each other for a moment and then she steps into my personal space. I want to shrink back but she wraps her arms around me.
“You repulse her,” Leviathan comments. “I can feel it radiating off her.”
“Do I repulse you?” I blurt out, hating myself even more for sounding as pathetic as Leviathan tells me I am.
Annabelle pulls away from me with a horrified look on her face. “No!” she exclaims. “Absolutely not. Sid, where is this coming from?” She strokes my mangled face, searching my eyes.
“Your males are pretty to look at. I am not. I don’t understand what you see when you look at me.” The courage that it took to say those words has worn me out. I feel like collapsing at her feet and never getting back up.
“I see you,” she says gently.
“She’s talking around it, lover. She is clever with her words.”
I frown at Annabelle. “What does that mean?”
“It means that when I look at you, I see your essence, Sid. You are a beautiful being. Do you want me to show you how I feel about you?”
“Oh, please,” Leviathan scoffs.
“H-how?”
“I want to have sex with you. I want to take you in my arms, kiss you, make you feel safe and secure as we take pleasure in each other. I want to show you that I don’t care about your exterior.”
I don’t answer her. I can’t. The thought of having sex with her terrifies me. I can’t open myself up to her, not like that.
Devlin’s words echo in my head, but I still can’t bring myself to say ‘yes’.
“You aren’t ready yet and that’s fine. I am,” she says. “I will wait until you are ready too and then we can show each other how we feel.”
“Are you seriously buying this?” Leviathan asks. “She is using you. You have a talent that she needs.”
“Stop it!” I spit out, pushing Annabelle away from me and clutching my head again. “Just stop it!”
“I’m sorry,” Annabelle whispers, wringing her hands. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, it’s not you…”
“Sid. Do you not believe that I care about you?”
“I’m worthless and weak,” I mutter.
“No!” she says adamantly, taking my hands away from my head and kissing them. “You are beautiful and strong, and I care about you more than I can actually say. The words…they are difficult for me. Actions? Now that I can do. Tell me what to do to prove to you that I want you.”
“Tell her to release me, Sid, or I will be here every time you talk to her, think about her and if you do finally fuck, I will be in your head telling you how awful you are and that she is faking every second of being with you.”
I shake my head.
Annabelle sighs and I know that she is losing patience with me. She drags me closer to her, pressing her lips to mine, kissing me fervently until I open my mouth and let her tongue touch mine. I moan as the happiness I feel from this one kiss is overwhelming.
She wraps her arms around me, squashing her body against mine.
I freeze.
I could do this when I was inhabiting Gregory’s body. It was easy. Now I am more afraid than I have ever been. What if I disappoint her? What if I don’t please her? What