me. You even treated my injuries.”
Now that doesn’t sound like me. My policy has always been to keep my head down. Subtly saving someone with my gift and not having to take responsibility for it is one thing. But actually showing myself? No way. Just how different was I before? Then again, that’s one thing about my past self that might’ve been better than the me now.
Cal’s eyes fall to the ground. The murmured conversation of vendors, friends, and families hums around us as we keep walking. “You invited me to come with you, Sara, and Joan. I didn’t have anything else, so I said yes. We did everything together after that. Well—mostly. You made a lot of solo infiltration trips into Sector Eight. But other than that, anywhere one of us went, the other went, too.”
“Except for when I disappeared?” I ask dryly.
He looks miserable when he says, “It was just a routine raid. We’d done dozens before—that time shouldn’t have been any different. But the military knew we were coming. They were ready when our team came.”
Now that sparks my interest. “What do you mean?”
“The military ambushed us. They separated our team and hit hard with more soldiers than the five of us could handle. There was no choice but to run and try to regroup after. I thought—I thought for sure that you out of all of us had made it out, that you’d already retreated—if I’d known you hadn’t—that you’d—”
Cal’s ragged voice cuts off as his breath hitches. Something inside me I don’t recognize wants to hug him.
“Hey,” I say. “It wasn’t your fault. At a time like that, you have to protect yourself, right? Even if you’d stayed, I might’ve still ended up here and you would’ve gotten yourself killed for nothing.” My voice is softer than I expected. Why am I trying to comfort a rebel—and one who just tried to kill me last week? But there’s something nagging at me in the back of my head, something that says, I don’t want to see this person upset.
I don’t want to listen to it. Whatever kind of relationship we had before, he’s a stranger now. And an enemy. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable, so before Cal can reply, I say, “But then wouldn’t the military have known I was a rebel? They said they found me injured Outside. They couldn’t not have known I was an enemy. Why would they take me in?”
“Erik, no matter what, you can’t trust the military. I don’t know why they took you or what they had planned, but they knew exactly who you were. They were only using you.” Cal’s eyes are hard, his guilt and grief from a few seconds ago totally gone. The coldness in them chills my lungs. But no matter how much he looks and acts like a normal kid, he’s a high-ranking rebel. There has to be a reason for it. I can’t forget that.
It feels wrong that his words ring so true, though. Why would the military knowingly take in a rebel unless they had something planned? And then there’s my amnesia. Lai thinks a Nyte is responsible for that, someone whose gift can affect memories. Could the military have gotten someone to erase my memories so I’d join them? But why? I haven’t exactly done anything important for them since joining up. It doesn’t make any sense.
Cal abruptly stops in the middle of the street. I tense, reflexively reaching for the compressed weapon in my pocket, but he isn’t even looking at me. He holds out a hand to thin air—the same gesture Lai sometimes makes—with a concentrated expression like he’s listening to someone talk. Then he says, eyes still staring straight ahead, “I have to go. Sara is calling me.”
The rebels’ leader. My gut twists as I remember her sharp eyes cutting through me like the edge of a saw blade at that ambush.
Cal faces me again. “Erik, I’ve always thought of you like an older brother. You taught me so much, and you were always there for me. I miss you more than you can imagine. But I want you to be happy, whether you return to us or not. Be cautious. Choose what you do from here on out carefully.” He half-laughs to himself. “Well, you always choose everything carefully, so I guess that’s not saying much. But be safe.”
I can only stare at him. No one’s ever talked to me with such open care before. How