as soon as we figure out details here. If we’re going to have any chance of pulling this off, we’ll need the military’s help. The Order alone can’t win this.”
“Of course,” he says. “Just say the word.” I’m … sorry for getting angry at you before. You were hurting. Of course you were. You needed time, not me exploding on you.
No, I answer back in his thoughts. No, I needed that. I needed you to tell me I was wrong. I need that a lot more in my life, actually. Thank you.
He smiles slightly. Always.
I turn to address everyone again. When I do, I see all of them, all these people I care so much about, all these people who kept believing in me, watching me expectantly. Waiting for orders. Believing in what I’m going to say.
My chest wells up with something I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before. Gratitude? Happiness? Whatever it is, I hold it close. I don’t ever want to forget this moment, this sensation. This sense of responsibility.
I won’t run away anymore. I’ll stand by my friends and do whatever I can to protect them. No matter what else I might lose, I’m going to keep going. Even if I lose everything, I’m going to keep fighting with the scraps I have left.
30
JAY
I WEAVE THROUGH Central’s rushing halls without attempting to hide myself. It hardly feels as though there’s a need to at the moment. Most of the soldiers run past me without giving me a second glance; everything is chaos as orders are shouted through halls and everyone scrambles to carry them out. Squads head out to prevent the protests from turning violent. Others are sent to gather and confirm information. Presences converge on my internal grid in flurries of bright reds and purples. No one has time to pay me any mind. Those who do notice me either choose to ignore me or else gape openly. But no one attempts to stop me.
I manage to make it to Austin’s reception room without incident, but the space is stuffed so full of officers I have to elbow my way to Noah’s desk. Conversation rises in an overwhelming deluge around me. It crashes over me in vicious waves, suffocating me nearly as much as the bodies pressed around me. Noah is speaking rapidly on the phone, but as soon as he sees me, without breaking his stream of conversation, he presses a few keys on his keyboard and jerks his chin for me to head into Austin’s office.
I attempt to make my way there, but officers block my path and refuse to move. Three of them stand in a line before the door, arms crossed or hands on the compressed weapons on their equipment belts.
“Whatever it is you want with the general, now’s not the time,” one of them says. I recognize her. She’s the officer who came to get a piece of furniture Erik made, back when we were more actively trying to rid ourselves of his too-many creations. She struck me as sympathetic then, and even now, the lines around her eyes are understanding. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but—”
“I’m not here about the Council’s experiments,” I say. For perhaps the first time when speaking to another officer, there’s no deference in my voice. I have a purpose here—and I will see it through. “General Austin is expecting me. Move aside.”
The officer’s eyebrows lift as surprise flashes through her presence. Yet she doesn’t budge, and the two officers behind her draw their compressed weapons. Around us, others have noticed the commotion. They wall me in like a trapped Feral. Yet I don’t feel any fear—only urgency. If I have to fight everyone here to get to Austin, I will.
However, before it can get to that point, Noah says clearly behind me, “All of you, stand down. The general is expecting ex-Major Kitahara. We don’t have time.”
“Of course a Nyte would try to let another Nyte through,” a different officer, one in the crowd, says. “What if you’re both just trying to take out your anger against the Council on the general? Like hell we’ll let anything happen to him.”
A Nyte-versus-Etiole fight right now? Really?
The door behind the three officers in front of me slams open. They startle and turn to find Austin standing in the doorway of his office. His eyes sweep over the scene once before he jerks his thumb for me to come inside. “Kitahara, hurry. We have much to