of time, she would know that and he resented being an early case in her career. Honestly, Daniel rocks.
Lisa listened to Daniel but didn’t change her line of questioning. She sat perfectly up in her too bright suit and continued, “Sooo, who would like to start . . . Danielle?”
I forced this response: “Everybody’s life is a series of what is versus what we wish it was, isn’t it? Is there anybody who has everything just the way they like it?”
But then she reminded me that we were taking this moment in time to talk about my particular life and so could I please be specific about mine.
Sigh and continue.
“I want to be twenty pounds lighter.”
And then a whole lot of language came out of Lisa. Language about how that was a brave statement, how that is something that can be accomplished, goals can be set, and changes can be made incrementally . . . blah, blah, blah, blah, blah . . . I heard some of it but stopped listening until Daniel said, “Yeah, she can do all that and maybe feel better and be more social, but then there will be something after that. Like she won’t like her hair color, which I really dig, by the way, or she’ll want a whole new wardrobe. I mean the other response you could have given her was that she could consider that she’s fine just the way she is, that everyone comes to this planet in a different package, and the one she has is pretty okay. That’s what I would have said if I was wearing the russet suit and carrying the master’s degree.”
And then there was this whole exchange between Daniel and Lisa about how Daniel always chooses to be contrary and how that creates conflict in relationships and he may want to consider that there are other ways of looking at things than his way, and Daniel told her she should try swallowing some of the medicine she was doling out. It’s really obvious that Lisa can’t stand Daniel. I think Daniel may actually like Lisa in a strange way because she brings out this side of him that he enjoys. I don’t know, that’s just my opinion. At one point, I turned and gave Daniel a smile as a way of thanking him for taking up my cause. He gave me a supportive nod.
After that, I kind of drifted off into another world so I didn’t have to be in this one, in a church basement that smelled of old cigarettes and burned coffee, feeling lost among people who I know in my heart are brethren.
*#1 AUNT JOYCE JOURNAL* 3/24
My talk with her
Aunt Joyce came over to see me and talk to me about the trip. My whole family had dinner in the dining room where Joyce commented on Mom’s cheery choice of yellow walls and the vase of red spring flowers she keeps on the table. Mom has style just like Aunt Joyce. After dinner, Aunt Joyce and I went up into my room so we could pull out the vintage clothes from the back of the closet and try stuff on.
I mainly just put on different hats while I talked about Justine, but Joyce was having fun stepping in and out of dresses.
Finally, she said, “Lady, give me the teenage dirt.”
I gave her this very wide-eyed look and she read my mind.
“What happened? . . . Did you kiss someone?”
“How did you know? OMIGOD.”
“Perimenopausal women have killer instincts. Spill it.”
“Well, it wasn’t all that. It was pretty much like The Romantic Era’s lyric ‘Your kiss is cold, my mind is numb.’ Yeah, it ended up being exactly that but, whatever, at least I can say I’ve been kissed.”
“Ah, life will never be the same.”
“Well, it got worse from there. The guy I kissed took off when Jacob, the boy I’m in love with, felt me up. Jacob didn’t want to feel me up; he had to or else he’d have to drink toilet water. So, there it is, my sex life in a nutshell.”
Aunt Joyce laughed and got a few more details out of me and then said, “You know what, my sex life boils down to similar tales but with adult players. You’re gonna be fine, kid. Just fine. Give it a little time for the bruises to heal. Oh, I almost forgot. Come with me to my car. I found two old parasols for us. Let’s get them and walk about