see it in your world. I’d bet my life it is not.
I love you, kid.
Your Forever Aunt Joyce
P.S. Listen to me when I tell you, your mother understands pain.
*MARV MISSIVE*
Letter #2 from Marv to me
Danielle,
I thank you for your candor. It is not easy to write down the thoughts that fill the mind. I know that you and your mother are taking a yoga class together, and I think this is a wonderful thing. Being active can be just the medicine you need. I can write about how I do not see you as you see yourself, but that would not address any of your feelings. Your feelings are valid to you right now. I hope I can help you shift your perspective.
Sincerely,
Marv
*DANIEL E-MAIL . . . very interesting new heading* 12/19 E-mail #1 from Daniel, the guy in social skills class
Hi, Danielle,
It’s Daniel from that class. Obviously I got your e-mail from the completely intrusive one that Lisa sent us all, encouraging us to connect with each other outside of class. I didn’t know how she got our e-mail and I told my parents I thought she was breaking the law by stealing my e-mail address. My parents said they gave her my e-mail when they signed me up for the class. That is so like them. I’m contacting everyone because I think we should ambush Lisa in the next meeting about the way she runs these classes. What do you think?
*CLASS ASSIGNMENT* 12/19
Essay #10: Things I’ve Felt
(Ms. Harrison seems to want to know everyone personally. How noble. B-.)
Danielle Levine
English 12
Ms. Harrison
Period 4
Ms. Harrison, for the last few days, I’ve “felt” this essay topic is somewhat intrusive. Feelings are private things. Also, the holidays can be hard for people, so to ask about feelings at this time of year may be considered insensitive by some. However, ultimately, I’ve decided to defer to your authority.
I have felt things in my life that are now contained and controlled by what I can only describe as spigots. I try to keep the spigots tightly shut most of the time in order to prevent a flood of emotion on my insides and to manage my day as sanely as possible. However, recently, one of my feeling spigots has loosened. It seems as if this particular feeling has activated a spigot, which is now turned to a permanently stuck position of full-throttle flow. This feeling just keeps flowing over every other feeling whose spigots are either much smaller or very tightly locked. While this spigot thing is really annoying in a lot of ways, it is intriguing in others.
For a long time all my spigots seemed to be turned off. They were apparently rusted shut. Feelings had nowhere to move about or spread out, so they just dried up, I guess. I couldn’t even muster a trickle. I was blocked up and feelingless for a while. But now that I have this flooding gush of feeling about this thing I can’t really expand upon here other than to say it involves an issue of the heart, I recognize there is just no stopping a feeling once the spigots start to turn. What I’m trying to say is that feelings are very powerful forces. They are spigot turners.
I’m wondering what effect this one loose spigot is going to have on the other spigots. I can only hope and pray that any other loose spigots will release positive feelings, things that might help me become a more interesting person. Although, I think by some accounts I may already be interesting but in a bubonic plague kind of way. The bubonic plague is very interesting.
Oh, also, I wanted to tell you that the other day when Heather commented in class “that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” . . . as if she would know or have any idea about Nietzsche . . . I wanted to tell her “That is total bulls**t. That which doesn’t kill us just almost kills us.” That’s how I feel about that. Heather always gives me an ax to grind.
I’m sure now you are going to suggest that I see Marv because of this whole spigot thing and my animosity toward Heather, but I’ll tell you upfront that I am seeing him already so you can save your time on that.
Teacher comments: Very provocative, but don’t write judgmental comments about your classmates. Using asterisks does not mean you are not using profanity!
*DANIEL E-MAIL* 12/20
E-mail #1: I write back to Daniel
Daniel,
I