to drink some water in between your man sodas.”
“You’re a good influence, Thompson,” he said, and I was out the door—where it was a whole five degrees cooler—thinking of the beach, a yellow butterfly of anticipation circling my chest, half hoping, half dreading, that I’d see Zack again.
As I walked back to the beach, I thought about the other day when I’d run into Zack. We stayed in the water for what felt like hours, just talking and swimming around, following the warm patches, until our fingers and toes were puckering. I knew Jules wouldn’t like me hanging out with him. And I know it had only been a week of feeling so alone in the world, but a week is actually a long time to feel like that.
I honestly tried to walk away from the Zack situation twice, but the first time he’d made me laugh, pretending to rescue me when a tiny wave pathetically knocked me on my ass, and the second time, right when I’d gotten too cold and come to my senses, he promised me half of his Something Natural sandwich if I stayed. It was turkey with cranberry and avocado. “On sourdough,” he added. My teeth were chattering, partially because of the cold and also out of fear of what Jules would say when she found out we’d spent a whole day together.
He looked up. “If the sun comes out in the next five seconds, you have to stay.” For some reason, I acted like this was a real rule.
“Five, four, three.” We started counting, and by “two” I was squinting into bright sunshine, floating on my back, once again under its spell. We stayed until he had to go to work at Gigi’s, the restaurant where he was a busboy. We shared my towel because his was sandy. And then we shared his sandwich.
When I arrived at Steps, I scanned the beach looking for him. He wasn’t there. I reminded myself that that was a good thing.
Twenty-one
Zack: Happy 4th!
Me: You too.
Zack: Where r u?
Me: I don’t know!!! Not Nobadeer. Some other beach. Cops at Nobadeer.
Zack: 40th Pole?
Me: Let me ask.
Me: Tom Nevers.
Zack: K. Want me to come get u?
Me: OMG. Yes pls.
Zack: See you in 20. Meet me at shuttle stop.
“I think I’m going to leave,” I said to Liz, who was downing her fourth beer in less than an hour. My first beer was still almost full and had grown warm in my hand. We hadn’t even tried to go to Nobadeer, because the cops had found out about that one. This was supposedly the secret, small, underground one. And yet, it was the biggest party I’d ever been to, even though Shane said it was lame compared to 2010, where there were almost three thousand partiers.
I couldn’t tell how many were here now, but there were at least a hundred Jeeps parked on the beach, all of them filled with people in their bathing suits, all of the people getting shitfaced, blasting loud music, and peeing in plain sight. Shit, I thought when I accidentally turned my head and saw a gross, chinless guy whip it out to take a leak in the dunes.
“But you can’t leave yet,” Liz said. “I haven’t introduced you to Colin! Where is that wanker? He said he’d be here by now.” She checked her phone for messages. “You shouldn’t go yet. You should stay and experience this bacchanalia. This is just the type of atmosphere you need to loosen you up—literally!” She laughed.
“Ha-ha,” I said. Nearby, a guy in stars-and-stripes swimming trunks threw up in the dunes, and he looked like a real adult, with a bald spot and everything. He wiped strings of vomit from his mouth with the back of his hand. “I really have to go, Liz.”
“Suit yourself,” she said under her breath. “But you need to relax if you ever want to—” She made a circle with one hand and drove her index finger through it with the other.
“That’s gross,” I said.
“Wimp,” she said as I walked away.
“Tart,” I called back, laughing.
“I take that as a compliment!”
I hadn’t seen Zack since our meeting at Steps. I closed my eyes as I waited for him at the shuttle stop, remembering how good it had felt to float around with him in the shallow water, how funny it was when he pretended to be the lifeguard, how strong he was when he picked me up and then flipped me in the deeper water, how