fully dressed, as am I. My thousand-dollar dress is a heap of fabric around my waist; my panties are pulled to the side like a two-dollar whore’s. Liars and cheaters like us don’t always have the luxury of undressing and taking our time. I know I get him for a couple of hours before I have to give him back and turn into somebody he didn’t choose.
“I’m close, don’t stop.” I yell out, knowing he’s aware of when I’m about to come before me. He knows my body better than I do, and I only know his body and no one else’s. I feel him unbuttoning his pants. He pulls his underwear down to grab his cock and enters me quickly before he has his usual sobering reaction.
“Fuck, I forgot the rubber. Hold on!” He fishes in his pants, now around his knees, for the condom he replenishes daily and resumes his position. I’m used to this move, I sometimes believe he just wants to feel me barebacked for a few seconds before the harsh reality of making sure I never get pregnant sobers him up.
“Get out of your head, Sara. I want you in the moment with me, okay?”
I smile and sadly think what I wouldn’t give to be with him for millions of moments. Why can’t it be easy for us? “I’m right here, JJ, nowhere else,” I say reassuringly to the love of my life and offer him my lips. I can see him smile as he lowers himself to kiss me. His lips and my lips fit perfectly together. He and I have a rhythm to our kissing that’s hypnotizing. I love the taste of him, all of him. He playfully sucks my tongue before sinking lower to my breasts. He flickers his tongue until my nipple is as hard as his cock and my whole body is covered in goose bumps. When he hears me start to beg for him to stop, only then does he finally take my whole nipple in and suck it like a pro.
He unlatches and looks up at me. “I need to be inside you. I’ve been going crazy trying to find you all day. Please don’t keep me away and don’t ever ask me to go. You know what you are to me.”
I’m nothing, I chime in my brain.
I run my hands into his soft, wavy hair, outlining with my thumbs his thick eyebrows before nodding and saying, “No more talking, I just want you to love me one more night. I won’t ask you to go or stay anymore, I promise.” He’s suspended above me and since his dick is as stiff as a rock, I doubt he understands anything I’m saying to him at this moment. He doesn’t have enough blood in his brain to recognize that this is goodbye. Tomorrow morning, I won’t see him off to work. Tomorrow, I’ll be gone and all the hurt and lies will finally stop. I take hold of his dick and help guide him toward my aching pussy. Tonight, we fuck, and tomorrow, I pay the piper.
“Fuck, I’m coming, Sara…I’m not gonna last…oh, I’m fucking coming.” I’ve decided that tonight I won’t let him make me come, because I don’t want to remember this night at all. I won’t visit today in my mind and think of how he made me orgasm for the last time. This night doesn’t deserve to be remembered. My tears are running down my face again, but these are silent, calm tears. These are goodbye tears. “Oh, I love you, baby. Don’t ever question that. What you and I have doesn’t go away. Nothing would make me stop loving you.” He’s still inside me as I try to stay awake. I’m not sure if he actually said that or if it’s already part of my dream. He’ll probably fuck me again before he goes home, I think, lingering on the verge of sleep, but I have this feeling that I’ve forgotten something. Did I lock the door? It’s okay, I’m sure Jeff will lock it when he leaves.
I wake up in the morning and I’m in bed alone. Jeffery is gone, back home to have breakfast with his real family as he always does. The family I can only dream of, the family that reminds me of what I’ll never have. Karma, I’ve met her, she knows me well and she hates me. I lay on my side, looking out the window at the