to incline her head to touch her lips to his. She felt dizzy. Giddy.
“Griffin,” she said softly.
Then he took a step back from her, leaving her feeling cold. Bereft.
“Just go, Iris.”
“I made you hamburgers.”
“Take them home. Take yourself on home.”
She didn’t have the words to argue. Didn’t know how she even would.
So she did what he asked. She stepped back, and then she turned around on the trail and headed to the cabin. She looked around at the food she prepared. She had half a mind to push it onto the ground. Because what was the point of trying to do anything nice for him? What was the point of any of this? Of feeling like she should do anything for him? Of feeling anything at all?
Was she just pathetic? Pathetic and so desperate for a man that she’d attached herself to the first one she had any proximity to who wasn’t related to her?
You know that isn’t true.
She wanted to howl in frustration.
Instead, she slowly collected the food, and then took it into his house. Putting the carefully sliced vegetables and the hamburger patties inside the icebox. She sealed the desserts and made sure that they were properly stored. She didn’t know why. She knew less than nothing at the moment, it seemed.
But... No one was up here to take care of him. And he clearly didn’t want her to. He would probably rather she had a huge tantrum and kicked the grill over. Would probably rather she took the food home for herself.
She wouldn’t let him do that. She would leave it for him, regardless of his behavior. She would take care of him, regardless of his behavior.
Because that’s just what you do? Take care of everyone else?
She didn’t really think she could win. With herself or with him. So she left, driving back down to town full of frustration, but most of all, sadness.
Because this was supposed to be some kind of big emancipation. And somehow, she felt younger and more confused than she ever had in her life.
* * *
GRIFFIN KNEW HE’D crossed the line. She hadn’t asked to be treated like that. And she didn’t deserve it. She’d cooked for him. Made him dinner. And he knew what the hell his problem was, but that didn’t give him any excuse.
It was just that... He’d seen her standing there, and he’d wanted to go to her. He’d seen the way that she was looking at him. Really looking at him. And what he’d wanted to do was go to her and wrap his arms around her. Had wanted to pull her up against his chest. Had wanted to taste her mouth, rather than lecturing her.
Hell.
He felt like an ass, and somewhere beyond redemption.
Redemption was a strange word. One that didn’t quite fit with his life. With where he was. With what he needed.
And that was how he found himself sitting on his cell phone rock knowing that he needed to call his sister. He’d avoided her for too long.
It was perverse, and he knew it. He wasn’t calling her because he missed her. He was calling her because he wanted a reminder. Of who he was and why he was here.
It wasn’t that he didn’t miss his sister. It was just that he... He didn’t really have a sense of what missing a person was anymore. It was just with him, all the time. Part of who he was. So, he couldn’t separate out missing her more than he could missing anyone else.
“What the hell, Griffin?”
“Nice to hear your voice too, Mallory.”
“Well, you know, I spent a good amount of the last few weeks thinking you might actually have killed yourself up there on that mountain.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I didn’t mean...” She stumbled over her words. “I meant, you know you could have an accident. How would I know? How would you get help?”
“I’m fine,” he said.
She breathed heavily into the phone. “Yeah. So fine. What is your plan?”
“I’m building the house.”
“Griffin...”
“What?”
“I don’t think she would want you up there building the house by yourself. I get what you think you’re doing, but...”
“You don’t know what she would’ve wanted. And you know what, it’s not about what she would have wanted. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what else to do, and I’m here. You don’t have to worry about anything happening to me. I’m alive.”
He bit back everything he wanted to say in addition to that. It wasn’t... Worth much of