He had advised all three men on their romantic issues in the last year. And he was not happy to see them. Grinning, with wedding rings firmly on their fingers. “Comin’ up.”
“You don’t look so good,” West said.
“Agreed,” Logan said.
Ryder didn’t say anything, he only nodded. But then, Ryder was bound by strict codes of honor, and most certainly to not meddling in other people’s business, so it stood to reason that he hadn’t verbally chimed in.
“Everything’s fine,” Laz said, lying through his teeth.
“Is it? It’s just that I heard that Jordan from Sugar Cup ran off and didn’t get married, and that she was shacked up with you.”
“This town is a scourge.”
“Yeah, but generally reliable when it comes to gossip. So is that true?” West pressed.
“True enough,” he said. “She’s my friend, and she was on some hard times. I offered to help out.”
“Right. That’s how I always offer to help my friends. Little friendly bunking together,” West said.
“If I recall right,” Ryder said. “That is how you helped my sister.”
“And look how that turned out,” West said, grinning.
That wasn’t exactly true. West had become his now wife’s landlord by default. And that had forced them into a proximity where things had gotten friendly real quick.
“She was staying with me, now she’s not. She’s renting a room above the bar, in fact. No gossip to be had there.”
“Is that why you’re in a bad mood? Because you’re definitely not in the mood of a kinda man who’s getting regularly laid,” Logan pointed out.
Well, he had been getting regularly laid. Actually until yesterday.
But it wasn’t about that. Of course it wasn’t. But Jordan didn’t understand. She didn’t understand that...
That what? You’re not willing to change? Is that really what it comes down to?
No. There was some clawing, burning fear that kept snarling in his chest, and he couldn’t define it any more than he could fight it.
“Should tell us what’s going on,” Logan said. “It’s only fair. After all... You helped enough people over the last few years that you deserve a little help with your own.”
“And we wouldn’t be any kind of friends if we didn’t stick our oar in.”
Laz could only stare. Because this was the last thing he’d ever expected. That all those conversations he had over the years in the bar might actually come back and benefit him. That they wouldn’t forget his happiness.
He’d seen it as a no-cost business transaction, but that wasn’t how they were treating it.
And maybe... Maybe that was it. Maybe he’d been lying to himself all this time. Maybe he wasn’t half so solitary as he believed. Maybe never had been.
“She’s in love with me,” he said. “But I... I’m set in my ways. I live alone. I like things done my way.”
“That’s dumb,” West said. “I would do things any kind of way if I could keep Pansy in my life. We could do them her way, hell, we could do them the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh’s way, I don’t care. Whatever she wants, I’m all in. Because I’m not happy if she’s not happy. I’m not happy if she’s not with me.”
“Same,” Logan said.
“Same,” Ryder said.
“My parents have a terrible marriage,” Laz said. “That house growing up was miserable. They never had time for anybody but themselves, and they resented their relationship as much as they resented me. I just don’t have any desire to live that kind of life.”
It was West who looked at him just a little too acutely. “Do you not want to live like them? Or do you just want to go back to living like you already do? Is it just not wanting to need someone a little more than they need you?”
That landed. Right square in his chest. And he felt... Well, he felt damned foolish.
Because it was true. He had moved out of the home where nobody seemed to want or need him, and into his grandmother’s house where he’d been able to help. And she had to accept, whether she liked to be solitary or not. And then he’d started work at this bar, where he gave advice, and everybody valued him. Either for his ability to dole out whiskey or sympathy. But taking back... That was what got him. That was what was so difficult.
“I...”
“I didn’t take you for a coward, Laz,” Logan said quietly.
“You were all cowards first.”
“Not me,” Ryder said.
“Really?”
His brothers-in-law were staring at him. “You were coward enough while you loved Sammy for seventeen years and didn’t say