luminous with magical brightness despite the gloomy weather. “It’s been some time since your death, but we haven’t tested your disguise with anyone who might have known you before you passed. Better to have someone along to help eliminate the problem, if one should arise.”
Grimacing, I gripped the back of my neck. Talmage was always three steps ahead of everyone else. Killing someone who recognized me would’ve been necessary to keep me safe, but the thought still soured my tongue. I’d grown used to death over the years, even appreciated the clean lines bounties offered: no moral quandaries, no right or wrong. Just execution and payment. Simple.
But this… I toed a loose rock. “I’m cursed.”
Kostya dropped his hand to his side. “I know.” When he and Talmage had first raised me and given me my ring, I’d told them everything. They’d accepted it all and promised that it wouldn’t matter in Cruor. That my past was simply that: my past. It never needed to be acknowledged again. I didn’t need to worry about trying to explain a curse no one would believe. And I’d felt such relief knowing I’d be able to share meals with brethren without hearing whispered judgments. Build bonds with new friends. Family.
I just hadn’t realized the full extent of my curse and what it would cost them.
“I didn’t know…” My voice broke, and I tipped my head to the sky. Rain crashed against my face, and I steadied my shaky breaths with the cool feel of water pouring down my cheeks. Guilt sat heavy in my gut. Exactly how many people had died because of me?
“We’ll find a cure.” Kostya adjusted his glasses, and I caught a glimmer of something far warmer than I was used to seeing in his gaze.
“Why are you helping me?” I raised a careful brow as conflicting emotions warred for control. I didn’t want anyone else to die at my hands—not like this. If he got too close, if I allowed any feelings of warm friendship to grow on my part, I’d be putting him in harm’s way. I took a careful step away, hoping the space would help. The biting cold from the wind and rain cut through the shadows between us.
Kostya didn’t flinch at my sudden movement. If anything, he almost…relaxed. Patting his vest, he studied me over the tops of his glasses. “I’m partially responsible for this.”
“No, you’re not.”
He lifted a shoulder. “I am. I convinced Talmage to raise you. Your curse would’ve died with you, had I let things progress as you originally intended.”
“You’re not to blame. I accepted this new life. The fault is all mine.” I appreciated his sentiment, but there was nothing in the world that could alleviate the guilt for what I’d done, or the burden I would have to carry if I continued living. How would I continue living? Despair rooted through my gut and solidified my feet to the ground. I couldn’t go back to Cruor.
“Noc?” Kostya edged closer.
“I can’t go back.” Turning, I gave him the full weight of my stare and prayed he’d understand. Prayed Talmage would understand. That, no matter how much I appreciated the gift of life they had given me, I couldn’t put anyone else in danger. “No one is safe around me. I…I’ll find a new place to live. Alone.”
Kostya pursed his lips. “That won’t be necessary.”
“I’m serious. You have to let me go. Please, tell Talmage I’m sorry.”
“Noc—”
“Gods dammit, Kost.” I bristled, choking on my words and unintentionally shortening his name. Why was he fighting this? Why did he care now, after all these years? Running a hand down my face, I took several breaths before peering through my fingers. “Sorry. Kostya. Just… This is for the best.”
Silence stretched between us, save the howling wind that continued to whip across the open plains and slam into our bodies. And yet, neither of us moved. We stood alone like the graveyard statues, unperturbed by the dead. And then Kostya offered the closest thing to a smile I’d ever seen on his face.
“Kost… I haven’t been called that in ages.”
“I’m sorry, it just slipped out.”
He shook his head once. “It’s…fine.” With a staggering breath that seemed to loosen something in his chest—something intangible and full of unspoken emotion—he turned his unrelenting stare on me. “We will find a cure. You’re not going anywhere.”
The look he gave me brokered no argument. I swallowed hard. “And until then?”
He closed the distance between us and went to put his