was ajar.
“So it’s an abandoned house. Is that supposed to mean something?”
Noc’s smile was tight. “When we come this way for jobs, we frequently stay here. We still need to make sure it’s safe before we enter.”
Oz steered his mount beside me and frowned at the slumped house. “Looks about the same to me.”
“It appears so.” Kost’s voice was barely audible. Slipping out of his saddle and landing quietly on the earth, he shot Oz a quick glance. “Regardless, let’s do our due diligence. Shall we?”
“Yeah.” With the same grace, Oz dismounted and sat low into his heels. Shadows festered around their ankles, swimming upward in a quiet storm of darkness, until they both disappeared into the onyx abyss.
Noc tracked their invisible forms with his stare. “They’re checking for people. We should be able to use it for the night.” He glanced up at the darkening sky. “Better protection against the elements.”
I didn’t care about the damn elements. “What were you and Kost talking about?”
“I told you, he doesn’t think I’m well enough to—”
“Let me stop you right there.” I folded my arms across my chest just as a deep, bone-rattling rumble echoed above us. “I know you’re not telling me the truth. Or maybe you are, but I know it’s bigger than that. It’s time to be honest with me.”
Noc wrung his reins tight. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Is it? So hard to explain that you can talk to Kost, but not to me?”
“Leena…”
Above us, the clouds split in an onslaught of sudden rain. Neither of us moved. Numbing cold settled against my skin, and Noc’s tunic went from dry to soaked, clinging to every curve and contour of his chest. I’d withstand any downpour if it meant I could finally get him to open up. His throat worked as if he wanted to speak, but no words ever left his lips. Fingers trembling, he buried his face in his hands.
He looked so…broken. It wrecked me entirely, and the anger that had been fueling my tirade faded. I edged my mare closer. “Noc?”
“Can I ask you something?” His words were raspy, barely audible over the crashing thunder. Slowly, he dropped his hands, and his pained expression sent a wave of dread coursing through me.
“Yes.”
“What am I supposed to do if you die?”
I blinked, unable to follow his train of thought. My death wasn’t something I’d thought about since I’d been pardoned by Yazmin. “Why are you asking me that? I know the oath is weighing heavy on you, but Noc, I’m not going to die. I’m okay. I’m safe.”
“But what if you aren’t?” He didn’t blink. Didn’t speak. Each moment of silence that followed was a thousand waves crashing in my ears, each more deafening than the last.
“What do you mean?”
He ran his hands through his wet hair, and his locks slicked smooth against his scalp. Trails of water trickled over the high angles of his cheekbones and darted down his face. Brow twitching, he cupped his hands in his lap and stared at his palms. “What if I can’t protect you?”
“There’s nothing to protect me from. Right now, we need to be focused on helping you.”
Wild eyes pinned me again. “What if you need protection from me? What if I hurt you? I’d never be able to live with myself. We worked so hard to break the priestess’s curse, only to be scrambling to put out another fire, then another. I couldn’t live with myself if you got caught up in the flames.”
“Noc.” I inched my Zeelah closer, and our thighs touched. He flinched. “You’d never hurt me. I’ll be safe because I have you.”
“And if you’re wrong?”
It was so quiet I barely caught his question over the clash of thunder in the sky. Shadows bled from his frame, as if he needed them to remind himself he still had the ability to control something.
“Don’t think like that.”
“And if you’re wrong?” he repeated as if I’d never spoken, boring right through me with eyes that weren’t wholly his anymore. “If you die?”
I swallowed twice. “Then it’s my time. Is that what you want me to say?”
With a trembling hand, he reached for me. “No. I want you to say that I should raise you. That you want to live as an assassin of Cruor.”
“Noc…” I wrapped my fingers in his. How long had he been contemplating this? My life was always a blip in comparison to his. Something destined to flare for a moment in time, while his embers