Except for Ray.
His pickup pulled into the parking lot, covered in mud from what I assumed was a miserable drive into school.
I watched as he easily got out of his pickup and grabbed his backpack. His walk was missing his usual swagger, and he held his shoulders tensely drawn back. As he got closer, the desire in me grew to run to him and seek reassurance in his arms. But my doubts and fears held me back.
I waited as he drew near, desperate to interpret his unreadable expression.
“Hey,” I said as he came to a stop in front of me. He didn’t quite meet my eyes.
He cleared his throat and hitched his backpack over his broad shoulder. “You doing okay?”
“I’m fine.” I watched him, the anguish on his face that made ice form in my veins.
He stared over the parking lot for a moment. When he turned back to me, his blue eyes were stormy, reflecting the turmoil inside. “You passed out, Ginger. It took me thirty minutes to get you to the hospital. I thought you were—” His voice cracked. “I didn’t think you’d make it.”
“Ray, I’m fine.” I reached for his hand, but his fingers stayed limp. Desperate, I added, “The doctor said the cold weather probably triggered it, and I made a full recovery. I could have had an asthma attack even if I had my inhaler.”
That was a bit of a stretch, but I was growing frantic. Ray still wasn’t holding my hand, and the more he pulled away, the more I felt the need to hold on.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” Ray said earnestly.
“But what about us?” I asked. “Are we okay?” That’s what I was really worried about.
Ray took a deep breath. “I don’t think we should be together.”
He said it like he was telling me it was supposed to rain or I’d missed an answer on an assignment. Unfortunate, but survivable. Except his words shattered me, fractured the very ground I stood on.
“What?” I managed. I had to have misheard him.
“The ranch is twenty minutes from the nearest hospital, thirty or more in bad weather. You have a serious medical condition. I don’t want you risking that.”
“Ray, I’m fine.” I tried to reach out for him, but he stepped back, and my hand fell at my side. “Please, don’t do this. I’ll pack five inhalers every time I come out, and if it’s below forty degrees, I’ll stay inside. You don’t need to end this for my benefit—”
“You don’t understand,” he said, his voice rough. “My dad died because we couldn’t get him to the hospital fast enough.” His eyes were closed like he was fighting off haunting, horrifying memories. “I had to drive. Mom sat in the passenger seat with his head in her lap.” His jaw trembled, and when he opened his eyes, they were even more intense, more desperate than before. “We watched the life leave his eyes, and it was my fault. I couldn’t get there fast enough.”
My mouth fell open. He’d seen his father die? I had no idea how it had happened, only that something had gone wrong on the ranch. Now, my heart hurt for him all over again. “You have to know it wasn’t your fault.”
“There’s no one else’s fault it could be. The doctors said just a few minutes could have made a difference.”
I put my hand over my heart, trying to hold the breaking pieces together. I couldn’t convince him otherwise—not this strong man with a heart of gold and a will of steel. None of that changed how I felt about him or the risk I was willing to take to be with him. “I don’t want to lose what we have.”
“And I don’t want to lose you,” he gritted out. “I’d rather lose you as a girlfriend than lose you forever.”
Before I had a chance to argue, he brushed past me and hurried up the steps to the school, taking them two at a time with his long gait.
My own legs refused to work, bending like rubber until I was sitting again on the bench. My first real love had been over before it even really began, and it was all my fault. My parents had been right about me—I hadn’t taken care of myself and had broken my heart and reopened Ray’s wounds in the process.
I furiously wiped tears from my eyes, not wanting to fall apart before school began. Especially when I didn’t have my car as an option for