make it,” I said pointlessly.
“I can drive you,” he offered.
His mom came behind him and said, “Come in, honey. You can stay with us.”
Ray seemed to relax, drifting into step behind me like the falling snow outside. I followed his mom into a kitchen. All the pieces of Ray I didn’t quite understand fell into place, and it made me like him even more. This didn’t look like any of the “farmhouse” décor I’d seen on televised home renovation marathons, but it seemed more friendly, with dark wooden cabinets, a big white refrigerator, a stove that obviously saw plenty of use, and a big table that could have seated ten. Right now, his youngest brother sat at one end of the table, working on a page in a coloring book.
In the other room, I could hear a TV going and Laura and Colton arguing over what to watch.
“I’m guessing you didn’t pack an overnight bag,” his mom teased.
“No, ma’am,” I said, addressing her the same way Ray had earlier.
She swiveled her head toward Ray and nodded approvingly. “Manners, I like it.”
His cheeks flushed red. Was he blushing? It was so completely adorable, I almost gushed out loud. Who was this person, and where had he been all my life? Ranch Ray was way better than Academy Ray, any day of the week, but especially on snow days.
“Come on,” his mom said. “I should have some of Mark’s sweats that will fit.”
Ray blanched, and I realized who Mark was. His dad.
“No, I can wear this—” I began.
“Nonsense,” she said, loud enough for Ray to hear. “Mark would have wanted you to be warm and comfortable in our home.” She looked at her son. “Isn’t that right, Ray?”
Instead of responding, he left the kitchen altogether.
My heart hurt for him, because I knew he had to be hurting right now. But I also felt abandoned. We’d been so close all day, and now I was in this warm house with his welcoming mother feeling nothing but ice in my veins.
His mom put her arm around my shoulder. “He’s taken it the hardest of all of them.”
A lump was growing in my throat for him. “I can’t imagine what I’d do without my dad.”
“You shouldn’t have to.” She led me to a bedroom off the kitchen. The simple bed made with a handmade quilt stood out from the vanity dresser and nightstand with a photo of her husband on it. I wondered how many times she’d fallen asleep looking at that picture, wishing he was there.
She continued to the closet, digging through a tote in the corner. “I’ve been meaning to take these to the thrift store, but I thought the kids might want them someday...” She came back with a pair of sweatpants that still had tags on them and a plain blue T-shirt.
I sniffed, trying to clear my emotions. “I’m guessing he didn’t wear sweats much.”
She laughed, making her look years younger. “No, it was work clothes or underwear on the couch. No in between”
The thought made me smile. “Typical dad move.”
“Mhmm.” She smiled at me for a moment and then shrugged. “I’ll give you some privacy. I need to talk to Ray anyway. You can hang out in the kitchen until I get there.”
I, she’d said. Not we.
As I peeled the stickers off the sweatpants and shirt, I couldn’t get my mind off Ray and how he was hurting just feet from me. I hoped I could make things better, or at least not make them worse.
Thirty-Nine
The shirt still had creases, probably from when it had been folded on a store shelf and then stayed that way in the Sadlers’ closet. But it was soft and warm and would be way more comfortable to sleep in than the jeans and sweater I’d worn. The only problem was the hips were tight, and the legs were way too long. I had to roll them up so I wouldn’t be tromping around their house looking like a little kid. There was already one sitting at the table.
When I walked into the kitchen, he looked up at me with bright blue eyes, the mirror version of Ray’s. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I said warmly. “What’s your name?”
“Jonah. Like the whale.”
“Jonah was the whale’s name?” I teased.
He tossed his head back and laughed. “No, the guy he ate. But Momma says you are what you eat, so maybe his name was Jonah?”
“True. You’re smart. How old are you?”
He held up three fingers and a bent pinky.
The math in