feel like a kid.”
He licked his cone and stared straight ahead. “Didn’t know you made out so much when you were a kid, Ginger.”
My cheeks heated as I laughed. “Whatever.”
Still smiling, he rested his hand on my thigh, curling his fingers around to the back of my leg. It was exciting and natural—all at the same time. How had this person with so much intensity and chemistry been walking around school without me really knowing it? I didn’t understand.
Seemingly frustrated, he dropped his head back on the bed behind him. “You’re so easy to spend time with.”
His words wrapped around my heart and squeezed. Suddenly, I was on uneven ground again, trying to catch my breath. “I thought that would be a good thing.”
He turned his gaze back to me, looking tortured—conflicted. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Why did he say it like it was a bad thing? A death sentence? I bit my lip. “Of course I want to be your girlfriend.”
Ray was quiet for a moment. Frozen. If his eyes weren’t wide open, I would have thought he’d fallen asleep. But no, the wheels in his mind were probably turning toward a way to let me down without breaking my heart. Ray wouldn’t want anyone hurt if he could help it. I knew that much, at least.
“You understand what you’re signing up for, right?” His jaw flexed with the tension in his voice.
I reached up and touched the ticking muscle, smoothing it with my fingers. “I’m signing up for you.”
His eyes poured over me, hale storms and gentle rain swirling in his gaze. “It won’t be easy with me. I work on the weekends. Do chores in the evening. Fall asleep on textbooks. I’m a horrible texter, and I can’t talk on the phone for crap.”
“When a guy has something beautiful, he fights for it. Right?”
I could see the hope warring with guilt on his face. “But what about you?” he asked. “You deserve better.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll be in college,” he said. “What about when you’re two hours away and I’m working a full-time job?”
“Have you heard of Facebook messenger?”
He let a frustrated sigh through his nose. “You’re not taking this seriously, Ginger. I can’t be the guy you deserve.”
“But what if you’re the man I want?”
“You want this?” he said, challenging me. “You want me when I’m working fourteen-hour days for months in calving season and when I can’t leave on a dime because I have to find someone to watch the herd? When I’ll be living with my mom to take care of what my dad left behind?”
He was trying to show me all the ways this couldn’t work, but honestly, it was all the reasons I wanted him. His dedication to the animals, his support of his family, and the careful way he approached me, worried about my happiness over his own.
It was too soon to be talking about this, but Ray had been through so much. Had so much responsibility. I personally knew life could end in an instant—had almost lost my own. The only time we were guaranteed was now, and I decided I didn’t want to waste it worrying about the potential heartaches of tomorrow.
I moved closer to him and straddled his lap so I could put both my hands on his face and look him in the eyes. “I want it, all of it, because I want you.”
He watched me, searching for the truth behind my words, and when he saw it, he drew me to him, crushing his lips against mine, holding me tightly to his chest.
I hoped he would never let me go.
Forty-Five
After we were breathless and smiling against each other’s lips, he just held me, trailing his fingers over the bare skin on my arm. I knew some couples who rushed to do more, but I couldn’t imagine anything better than this moment right here. Feeling his heartbeat through his shirt, my skin tingling under the slow movements of his fingertips. Knowing he was mine and I was his.
He moved the laptop aside so we could lie down, and as he moved it, the screen came to life.
“Holy crap, it’s four in the morning,” he said.
My stomach sank. Not in shock, but because I knew our time together where we could forget the world around us and just enjoy each other was coming to an end.
“You can get some sleep if you’re worried about being tired tomorrow,” he suggested. “I’ll clean this up.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’ll