though they’d experienced such a great loss. It was like magic existed here, kept them going. Being here felt more like home than my own house did sometimes, and I’d only been around for a few hours.
When we finished, I went to the sink to help Mrs. Sadler with dishes, but she took the sponge from me. “I’ve got this, honey. Ray, why don’t you show her the guest room?”
“Sure.” He started toward the door to the living room, and I realized that was my sign to follow.
He opened a door to a stairwell and hit a light switch showing an exposed concrete wall. I followed him down the wooden stairs and into a living room with cement floors and rugs spread throughout. It looked like they used the basement for food storage—with a deep freeze and standing freezer on one side—and a hangout space for the kids. There was an older TV and couch down here, plus rugs to add some warmth to the cement floor. On one side was a finished wall boxing in a room and another wall mirroring that one.
He led me to the one on the right and opened the door to an empty bedroom. “This is it.” The bed was covered in a handmade quilt, a sewing desk against one wall, and a dresser with old photos sitting on top.
I went to it and saw a younger, more carefree Ray squatting by a puppy and grinning cheesily up at the camera. “You were so cute! What happened?”
“Ha ha,” he said.
My fingers brushed the frame of another photo. An older man, who looked just like Ray, and three kids, each holding up a fish. They were all smiling.
“Jonah wasn’t born yet, when it happened,” Ray said, following my gaze. His jaw stayed clenched as he shook his head, but his eyes showed all the emotion of his words. “He would have loved Jonah.”
“How could you not?” Carefully, I put my hand on Ray’s forearm, and he didn’t shy away.
His lips lifted slightly before he turned to me. “What do you think?”
I glanced at the bed, at the tufts of yarn lifting from the quilt, holding it together. “I love it here.”
When I turned back to him, the smile had reached his eyes. “Yeah?”
I nodded. “I like you here. You’re so much different at school.”
He scratched his neck, seeming uncomfortable. “It’s hard to be it all, you know? I feel like, at school, I have to be the perfect student, to earn my spot because they wanted me for football and it didn’t work out. And here, I have to be...” He searched for the word, but I already knew it.
“Everything,” I finished for him.
His silence told me I was right. He moved and sat on the bed, and I sat beside him.
“What now?” he asked.
“You don’t need to help your mom with anything?”
He shook his head.
“No cattle?”
Another shake of his head.
“No homework?”
There was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “None.”
He was getting closer. My gaze flicked from his dark blue eyes to his slightly parted lips, wondering what it would feel like to have those lips against mine again. To have his hands on my hips again, strong and sure.
My ringtone trilled, and we jumped apart, like snapping out of a trance. I went to my phone and saw the name on the screen.
My mom was calling.
Forty
I might have said a few words I’m not proud of. But holy-you-know-what was I panicking.
“What?” Ray asked. “What’s going on?”
“My mom’s calling!” I hissed. “If she finds out I’m here, she’s gonna freak.”
Ray didn’t miss a beat. “Tell her you’re at a friend’s.”
I nodded. I could do that. It technically wasn’t a lie... I took a few deep breaths and answered the phone, making sure it was just my face on the screen.
Both of my parents’ faces greeted me.
“Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.”
“Hi, sweetie,” Mom said, and Dad gave a greeting of his own.
“How are you?” Dad asked. “Rosie said you’re staying with one of your friends?”
I nodded, thinking on the fly. “I thought it would be safer than to drive, you know?”
“Very smart,” Mom said, seeming relieved. “Do you mind if I talk to your friend’s mom? I want to make sure they know what to do if you have an attack and can’t get out.”
My gut dropped. “Mom, I know what to do. I can handle it.”
“For my benefit,” she said. “To make me feel better. I should have just brought you and Cori with us