for Nathan and me.
Jeanine laughs at this as I continue to pile books neatly on the chair. This shelf needs a good polish. “Have you spoken to him at all?”
“Nope.” Not in the past two weeks since we had that massive argument. I’ve made him breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert every day, but I haven’t seen him. “He’s probably busy.”
“That man will always astound me. He’s so…”
“He’s just the way he is.” I cut her off, not wanting to slag him off behind his back no matter how badly he’s pissed me off. “Not worth getting upset over.”
It’s at this point I hear a door upstairs slam and I wince. He heard me. Now I feel bad but I’ll be damned if I apologize. Maybe he didn’t hear me; maybe he just likes slamming doors.
I almost laugh at this last thought because Nathan has to be the quietest man I know. He slammed the door because he wanted to be heard.
“I think that shelf is sparkling as much as it can,” Jeanine says, breaking me from my thoughts. “The next one needs a good clean.”
“Right.” I blink myself back to reality and start piling the books back on the shelf. Something just tapped me on the foot. That better not be a spider. Or worse… a rat.
I squat and pick up the small square of paper. It’s a note I think, maybe a book marker of some sort.
My thumb hooks under the folded edge and slowly begins to part it.
“Everything okay?” Jeanine asks, reminding me I’m not alone.
“Yeah.” I stand and tuck the small square into my pocket. “Just dropped a receipt.”
“You know, this house is hundreds of years old. Don’t let its modern interior fool you. I bet there are lots of little things left behind from Nathan’s family line,” she says, her voice high and thoughtful. There’s no pulling the wool over Jeanine’s eyes, that’s for sure. “In fact, during my times of cleaning I’ve found a few things myself. Love notes, letters, old pictures and drawings. It’s amazing the places they’ve turned up.”
This fuels my curiosity further. “Where are they all now?”
“I imagine Nathan put them away somewhere. I gave them all to him.”
“Great. If you ever find anything else, please let me know.” I’m relieved when she agrees and hastily get back to my dusting. I shake every book, old and new, but find nothing else. I’m not sure why I’m interested. I don’t even know if the paper in my pocket is a note. I’m definitely going to find out later when I’m away from curious eyes.
Jeanine leaves at eleven and I quickly start on lunch, glad to be busy again. Every day I come up with something even messier to make. I swear I’m doing this just so I have something to do.
Nathan doesn’t come down, even after I’ve finished and sit at the table picking at my food. I don’t blame him. Things are weird between us right now.
The weather isn’t too bad so I pull on my walking boots and jacket after lunch and head out into the cool air. It’ll be autumn soon and I can’t wait. I can only imagine what these beautiful trees will look like when their leaves die in the most colourful way. It’s a sad notion, it’s sad when anything dies, but at least new leaves will grow in their place. Unlike Caleb. I’ll never be able to replace Caleb.
This baby will never be able to have that father slot filled. I hold true to my word, the word I gave Caleb when he made me promise to never leave him.
I’ll never leave him, never.
No man will ever replace him.
With my chalk in hand, I go a different route this time, my feet steady and sure as I plod along, marking the tree trunks as I go. This time I’m heading behind the house and through the trees that way. I’m not sure why but I just feel like this is the place I want to go this time. The trees are a lot thinner here and there is a foot path covered in small twigs and rocks. I still don’t risk not marking the trees, even though there’s a path to follow. I’ll probably get lost either way.
As I walk along the dirt trail I pull the folded square from my pocket and slowly start to peel it open. It’s not a note. It’s a picture.
I gasp when I see what it is and instantly