happening. I try to pretend that after over two months of no contact from Nathan, he isn’t doing this now. I can’t push him away. I want to but my body is on fire. I’m surprised I’m not trembling with need.
He climbs up beside me.
A loud gasp rushes from my throat as he kisses the side of my neck. His tongue comes out to taste my skin as his hand holds my chin, stopping me from turning towards him and making the skin less tight and sensitive where he’s kissing.
How can he want to do this with me? My body is hideous right now.
“Nathan,” I manage to say through my panting. Am I telling him to stop? I don’t know.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” He whispers in my ear and bites down on the lobe. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever felt the need to touch, the need to taste.” His tongue flicks at my neck, the spot below my ear that makes me purr.
“Stop,” I say, my mind a war of emotions. “You… we… stop…”
Why’s he shaking me? Why’s my brain so foggy? I blink open my eyes, noticing the heavy feel of sleep pressing against my lids. “Huh?”
Nathan looks down at me, his lips twitching with a knowing smirk. “I lost you for a moment there.” We weren’t kissing? “Sounded like a fun dream.”
“What?”
“Are you okay?” He’s used to me falling asleep at random moments, but this is strange. It didn’t feel like a dream. “You look a little disoriented.”
“I… we…” I rub my eyes with the heels of my palms and slowly sit up. “When did I fall asleep?”
He shrugs. “I was trying to grab his feet. Two seconds later you were gone.”
“Oh.” So he didn’t kiss me then. My guilt dissipates to a low murmur in my chest and mind. It lingers because I just had a dream about another man, but it’s dull because I can’t help who or what I dream about, especially right now. The past month or so has been hell. I’ve never been so horny and I can’t reach down there to deal with it myself.
I had to get a bikini wax the other day. It fucking hurt! A lot!
No way in hell am I allowing my baby to pass through a jungle on his way out.
“Go to sleep, I’ll be back in a few hours.” Nathan pulls me up the bed and pulls the blanket over my body. He even shuts the curtains for me and pinches my nose. “I’ll wake you when I get home.”
“Uh-huh,” I mumble and close my eyes. I love this mattress. I want this mattress. “Drive safe.”
“Promise.” He leaves the room after hovering in the doorway for a while. I imagine him looking longingly at the bed, wishing he could climb in and forget the world much like I’m doing. I’m being ridiculous though, I know this. Or maybe I’m the one who is wishful thinking. There’s a heavy thought I don’t want to address.
“Hey.” It feels like I’ve only had my eyes shut for an hour when Nathan wakes me up again. I check the clock. It’s been six. Christ, my nap turned into a coma.
Yes, bump, I blame you.
“What?” I rub my eyes and sway a little after sitting up. “What is it?”
Nathan takes my elbow and pulls me from the bed. I really don’t want nor do I need to be awake right now. “I did something.”
“Uh-oh,” I feign horror. “Did you cook again?”
“It’s almost six at night and you haven’t fed me.” We step into the dark hallway. Why aren’t the lights on? I hate the dark.
“You’re getting me out of bed so I can feed you?” I ask, my tone incredulous and impatient. I’m not the nicest person when I wake up. I try to turn around. “Order pizza.”
His answer is to pull me down the stairs whilst chuckling.
Hey, the archway is glowing. Oh my god.
Christmas lights!
They hang loosely along the top and sides of the archway, twinkling purple and white in no particular pattern. The wooden floor holds the reflection of other dancing lights. I notice this as I make it to the last step. Nathan steps behind me and covers my eyes with one hand whilst guiding me by the elbow with the other.
“Okay, so, I’ve never actually done this myself before and it probably looks awful.” He’s nervous. I love it when he gets nervous. It reminds me that he’s human and not