something that told me I’d had one job, and I’d messed up. And that job wasn’t to get Akkadia Aeterna for myself or for Adrian’s daughter. That job was… to disappear.
I blinked. Once, twice. I felt… confused. Why would I think that? Why would I ever want to disappear? I released my stomach, and it settled down. The feeling that there was something foreign inside me vanished.
No wonder they think I’m a suicide risk. What on earth possessed me to think about disappearing? I don’t want to disappear. I want to… I want to fix this. I nodded to myself and decided it was time to go back. Today was going to be different. I could think. I felt more like myself, so all I had to do was to stay sharp, behave, and let the staff know that I was fine and they didn’t have to drug me. I was going to go inside, eat well for lunch, and then sit in a corner and think. Today, I wasn’t going to bother anyone, and I wasn’t going to ask questions. If I was a good patient, they would leave me alone, right? They would leave me be.
Just as I was getting ready to turn on my heels, the gate opened, and a man stepped through. Short brown hair, deep brown eyes, tall, strong. I knew him. He saw me and stopped in his tracks. We locked eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, I felt a tap on the shoulder.
“Time’s up,” Nurse T said. Then, to the handsome man. “Hello, Mr. Wyvern.”
He simply nodded. The nurse pulled me away, and I had no choice but to follow her. Had he come to see me? What if he just went inside, talked to my doctor, and then left? I didn’t remember him visiting me in the past, but then again… Davien had said I never remembered his visits either. But I was getting better, wasn’t I? Because I did remember Davien now, and I did remember that I’d attacked him. Why? No clue. As Nurse T led the way toward the common room, I decided not to dwell on why I’d attacked Davien out of the blue. It made me feel uncomfortable, and… to be honest… it made me feel a little bit crazy. Today of all days, I did not want to be crazy. Adrian Wyvern was in the building somewhere. My PE professor, the man I’d slept with on the winter vacation in year one. Did he feel anything for me? Did I feel anything for him? When it came to emotions, everything was so confusing.
Nurse T made me sit at a round table. Pieces of a puzzle were scattered before me, and she made me work on it, saying she’d be back soon. Indeed, she was back three minutes later, and she was holding a plastic cup in her hand. My eyes went wide. She smiled at me, placing the cup on top of the puzzle.
“Drink up. Someone is here to see you, and we need to be calm and collected, don’t we?”
I shook my head. “Please don’t make me drink it.” I looked in the cup, spotting a few herbs floating inside the dark brown liquid. It smelled bad, and I knew it was concentrated enough to turn all the clarity I’d gained outside into a thick, black fog. “I don’t need it today. I feel better.”
The nurse’s smile fell. “Now, now, Miss Aleksiev. You know you have to take your medication because it’s for your own good. We skipped the one at breakfast, but we can’t skip this one. So, drink up, enjoy a few minutes with your lovely visitor, and then I’ll come take you to lunch. How does that sound?
Terrible. It sounded terrible. I stole a glance around me. There were a few patients in the common room, some playing mindless games, most staring into space. The patients weren’t the problem, though. There were three male nurses lingering by the door, chatting and keeping an eye on everyone. If I refused to take my medication, Nurse T was just going to escalate things. I had to behave. Especially if I wanted to see Adrian. Cursing silently, I grabbed the plastic cup with a trembling hand and lifted it to my lips. I gulped it down as fast as I could, then covered my mouth with my hand so I wouldn’t puke the disgusting potion all over the floor.