guilty look, and my heart started beating faster. He was hiding something from me. He’d been hiding it all this time.
“From my ancestor’s diary.”
“Who’s your ancestor?” Seth asked. He was leaning in his chair now, arms crossed over his chest. If he hadn’t liked Adrian earlier, now he didn’t like him at all.
“Gilgamesh Akkad.”
Corri gasped theatrically. I rolled my eyes. She knew it from me.
“Sorry,” she chuckled. “I thought we’d all gasp in unison. My bad. Too many men at this table, not enough impressionable women.”
“You have his dream journal.”
“Yes.”
“You’ve had it all along.”
“Yes.”
“You know I’ve been looking for it like crazy! What the hell?! Why did you lie to me when I asked you about it? You want me to help you, help your daughter, and you lie to me like that?”
“I’m sorry!” He seemed to be just as annoyed as I was. “It’s dangerous, okay? You don’t know what that diary contains. You don’t know what Gilgamesh wrote. And I pray that you never find out. I couldn’t give it to you!”
“Jesus!” I covered my face with my hands. I needed to think. I was so angry, and I felt so betrayed and disappointed… But I needed to think. Maybe Adrian was right. Maybe I didn’t need to know what was in that dream journal. “Damn it.”
“Of course, if you think it helps, I’ll give it to you,” he whispered, defeated.
“No. It’s fine. It’s better this way. My Aunt Katia and I figured out why I failed last year.” I glanced at Lovecraft. “Professor Lovecraft told me about the one time he dream jumped to the cosmic beings’ universe before he began his new supernatural life, and I think that his account influenced me.”
“Oh,” he mumbled. “I am so sorry. I never meant to…” He hesitated, then leaned over the table, a silly smile on his lips. “I never thought the Great Old Ones were real. I never thought Yig was real. And living under the Academy? Incredible! Everything I learned from the people I spoke with… I thought it was fiction. Sure, some of the stories seemed to repeat from one native tribe to another, but I thought the collective consciousness was at play. You know, people from different continents can have similar myths even though they never came into contact… that sort of thing. I thought this was the same. What you’re saying is… amazing. And terrifying at the same time.”
“I told you it’s all real. And I’m sure Mila told you, too.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “She might have, yes.”
Silence fell over the table. I had to remember what I was saying.
“Yes, so… all the research I’ve done on the universe of the cosmic beings, all the stories I’ve read, then all the notes and drawings I saw in Professor Lovecraft’s office… They influenced me. Somehow, every time I dream traveled to the monsters’ dimension, I got stuck in Professor Lovecraft’s dream.”
“What was it?” Davien asked.
“I don’t know. I can’t remember a single detail, because after Aunt Katia and I figured out what the problem was, I asked Mila for help, and Mila asked her mage friend, Lorna. Lorna erased those memories.”
“So now you can’t even remember that you read my short horror stories?” Lovecraft pouted.
“No, I remember that I read them, but I just don’t know what they’re about. Lorna only erased specific information that was directly related to the universe of the cosmic spawns. That’s all.” I looked at Adrian. “I hate that you lied to me, but I’m glad that I didn’t get to read the diary. Lorna would’ve had to erase those memories too, probably. I needed a clean slate, and now I have it. I will attempt to travel again, and pray to God that I make it this time, that I find the flower for your daughter and for myself, and that I don’t get lost in the process.” I looked at Headmaster Colin. “The universe of the cosmic monsters is poisoned. Every time I jumped there and did it wrong, I lost a piece of myself. That’s why I ended up the way I did. I never wanted to jump in that well. You have to believe me. Yig was calling to me. He tried to make me jump, and Adrian, Davien, and Seth saved me. I think… I think Yig must have felt that I’d traveled to his home world, and must have felt that I was infected with… I don’t know… whatever poison is in the air they