real, too. I wasn’t hallucinating. But how could I hallucinate while dreaming? That made no sense.
“It’s true. Until you give birth to me, I reside between worlds. I can hear you, you know. I listen to your thoughts and feel your emotions. I know what’s going on, and I want to help.”
“What? No!” I stopped in my tracks. “Now that I know I can dream travel like before, I will attempt a jump to an entirely different world, to a dimension that is not part of this network. I’ve done it before, and it almost killed me. But I need something from there. Something important. So, I have to do it, but I will do it alone.”
“I can go wherever I want. I am protected because I’m not part of your world yet. I can guide you, mother. You think you’re keeping me safe if you dream jump alone, but it’s exactly the opposite. Think about it. If something goes wrong, if anything happens to you… that will affect me, too. But if you let me guide you, I will find a way that is safe for both of us. Right now, I am limitless.”
“It can be safe if I do it alone,” I insisted. “All I need to do is find the point of neutrality.”
“You tried that before…”
“And failed, I know.”
“There is no point of neutrality.”
“What?”
“Every dream traveler who wants to jump between two networks builds his or her own. Some do it unintentionally, like Aunt Katia did, and others do it over months, diligently and systematically. Aunt Katia was lucky. My guess is that she did it instinctively. She thought her point of neutrality was universal and anyone could use it. She was wrong.”
“What are you saying? That I have to build my own? But how? And… and… do I even have time for that?”
“You can use mine.”
“You just said…”
“My physical body rests and grows within you. For now, we are one and the same.”
I felt a gentle touch on my cheek. It wasn’t the wind.
“I will guide you if you let me. I don’t want you to get lost. I don’t want you to get hurt like before. I need you alive and healthy, because I want to live, and I want to see the light of your world.”
“This is… I have no words.”
I was waking up. I felt myself slip out of the dream, and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. I couldn’t focus. Normally, I would’ve been able to plunge back in, but I was too shocked, too rattled. I opened my eyes, and I was back in my dorm-room. Seth and Davien were staring down at me. Adrian was at the foot of the bed, doing the same. I must have been talking in my sleep, because even Corri was staring at me like I was the eighth wonder of the world. I sat up, looking for water on my nightstand. I found the glass I always kept there, but it was empty. Seth read my mind, grabbed the glass, and went to fill it.
“What happened?” Adrian asked. “You were talking in your sleep. Who’s El?”
I shook my head. I opened my mouth to say something, but my lips were parched. I drank the water Seth brought me and tried again. No words came out. I was in a state of pure shock. All I could do was slip a hand under the duvet and press it to my belly.
Eliana, I thought. That’s a beautiful name.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I didn’t tell them who El was. If I had, they would’ve never let me jump to the universe of the Great Old Ones. When it came to El and her request to allow her to assist me, I didn’t think I had a choice. When I was asleep, the baby inside me was asleep. She was going to accompany me no matter what I said. So, after a few weeks of haunting the halls of the Academy like a ghost, of zoning out in class, and isolating myself in my dorm-room when I couldn’t deal with the world, I decided I couldn’t postpone it anymore and I had to jump. The field trip to Hell was fast approaching, and I’d have to take advantage of it to get a demon’s horn – one of the five ingredients the mages needed for the ritual. I needed soil from the cosmic monsters’ universe, and I also needed a serious new batch of Akkadia Aeterna.