her up or to keep her from escaping again, he wasn’t sure. “Do you want… we can drive, or maybe sit here, or up in your room…?” He wasn’t sure that was a good idea, but then again, he had no playbook for this one.
However, when she laughed, he looked at her in surprise. “Yeah. I think my room is a definite no go.”
“What? Why’s that?”
She laughed again and put her head down. “Long story.” Rubbing her hand down his back, she kicked them forward toward the outer doors. “Your car sounds good.”
“Okay then. My car it is.”
At the car, he opened her door and helped her in before running around to his side. Once in, he wasn’t at all sure what to do next. He put his hands on the steering wheel but stopped there. “Do you…? Should we go somewhere?”
Her eyelids did a slow fall downward, and she shook her head. “We don’t have to.”
Greg glanced at her, and his heart fell further. “Okay.” Letting his hands fall from the steering wheel, he searched for a place to start. “Listen, Tay, I really am sorry. That was not…”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“They just don’t get it,” he said, staring out at the random lights in the dorm beyond.
“It’s okay,” she said, and her voice was placid and soft. “I don’t expect them to.”
Turning to her, he let the anger come. “Well, I do. They’re supposed to be your friends. That is not how friends are supposed to treat each other. Especially not now. Especially when you need them the most.”
She shivered one shimmy, and Greg instantly went into fix-it mode.
“Here.” He dragged the blanket from their Colorado trip up to the front and tucked it around her.
The soft sound of her breathy thanks did all kinds of bad things to his heart. She sounded one small push away from giving up completely.
“Don’t blame them,” she said when he’d gone back to his side. “Okay? Don’t. None of this is their fault. I’m the one who’s been an idiot about everything. They know it. I know it. Everybody knows it.”
“So you made some bad decisions…”
“Some?” she asked with more than a little vehemence in the syllable. “I’m not sure I’ve made five good decisions since we graduated, not in the relationship department anyway.” Putting her head back, she squeezed her eyes shut. “They’re right about me, about what I am. They’re right about all of it. Paige especially. She thinks I’m a selfish slut, and she’s right.”
“Tay…”
“No, Greg, she is. I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. I wanted to be popular, and that’s what I thought I had to do to fit in. The parties, the guys, I’m not proud of it, but it happened. What’m I going to do, pretend like it didn’t?” She sighed. “When I walked into that church tonight, I felt like such a fraud, like everybody there knew everything I’ve done.”
“Taylor, none of us are perfect.”
Her gaze came over to his, soft and sad. “Yeah, well, some of us are a lot more perfect than others.” Dragging her head forward, she stared out at the dormitory though he wasn’t sure she saw any of it. “Crazy thing is, by some wildly ironic twist of fate, I’m rooming with myself from three years ago.” She laughed sardonically at that. “I mean, how perfect is that, you know? I get to see in living color just how incredibly selfish and stupid I was about all of it.”
“I don’t… how… what…?”
“My roommate. Hannah.” Taylor nodded but said no more for a long minute. “Oh, yeah, she’s something else. Sleeps all day. Parties all night. She’s up there right now with a guy, and I don’t even want to know what they’re doing.”
“How do you …?”
“When I got back, the door was locked and there’s a hair tie on the knob. Want to take a guess as to how I know what that means?” Taylor shook her head. “I’ve been in that room with her for two days, and I already don’t think I can take it much longer.” She shrugged. “So who am I to judge Paige and the guys? Who am I to say they are being unfair? I know how I was to them, and it wasn’t great.”
“But that’s different,” Greg said. “You don’t even know her. They’re your friends.”
“So that made what I did to them all those times all right?” She shook her head. “No, Greg, that’s even worse. Don’t you see?