it through gritted teeth, the anger in his voice obvious.
‘And that made you mad,’ I say.
‘No! I mean, yes,’ he says, flustered, ‘but I didn’t hurt her. How could you even think that?’
‘Are you kidding me?’ I snort. ‘How could I think that? I don’t know what to think. You’ve been lying to me for years! You were sleeping with my best friend. You don’t even want to be with me.’
‘That’s not true!’ he protests.
‘You only stayed because of Marlow.’
‘No!’
‘Stop bloody lying to me, Rob!’ I shout before quickly lowering my voice. ‘I’ve read the texts.’ My fists are clenched and my nails dig bloody half-moons into my palms as I remember. ‘She wanted to start a family with you. You wanted it too.’
Rob falls silent.
‘Look,’ I say, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. ‘I can’t do this now.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers.
‘Don’t,’ I mutter.
He falls silent. The tension crackles down the line.
‘Orla,’ he finally says. ‘I didn’t kill Kate. I swear to God.’
I say nothing. His word means nothing.
‘It was probably those men, the escorts you told me about. Have the police interviewed them yet?’
‘It wasn’t them,’ I tell him wearily. ‘You know, she hired them because she wanted me to sleep with one of them and when I didn’t she tried to fake it so I’d think I had. She did it on purpose, Rob, and when I didn’t want to sleep with him she drugged me so in the morning I wouldn’t remember and then she could tell you I’d been unfaithful.’
‘What? Why would she do that?’ Rob asks.
‘So you’d have a reason to leave me.’
He breathes in sharply. ‘My God,’ he whispers under his breath. ‘That’s crazy.’
‘Yes. Guess what though, Rob?’
‘What?’ he asks.
‘I’m the one leaving you.’
‘No, Orla, please, come on …’ he begs.
‘Stop talking,’ I tell him, trying to hold back the sob that’s building in my chest. ‘I don’t want to hear another word.’
‘What about the police?’ he asks, ignoring me. ‘You aren’t going to tell them are you? About me being there?’
I snort. ‘Why shouldn’t I? They think I have something to do with her murder. They’re looking at me as a suspect.’
‘Shit,’ he says loudly. ‘For real?’
‘They haven’t charged me but, yes, I can tell they think I had something to do with it. You were here; you saw how suspicious they were. And now, once they find out about the affair they’ll think I have a motive, won’t they? So thanks, thanks a lot!’ I add, sarcastically.
‘Oh my God, Orla. What are you going to do?’
I shake my head. Suddenly I’m on my own in this. There’s no offer to fly out and set the record straight, no sense that he’s the one who’s helped put me in this situation.
‘If the police find out about the affair then we’re both screwed,’ he says. ‘If they find out I was over there we could both end up arrested. I mean, they might think we planned it together, or that we all had a falling-out about it and one thing led to another and …’ He tails off.
I mull that over in my mind. Would the police think that? Or would I be in the clear? Would they turn to Rob as the prime suspect? And won’t they find out he was in Lisbon eventually?
‘What would happen to Marlow?’ Rob asks, interrupting my thoughts.
Oh God. He may as well have reached through the phone and grabbed me by the throat. I know what he’s doing. He’s using our child as a pawn. If Rob’s arrested or questioned, what would happen to her? Rob’s parents aren’t often around to help out. They’re in Ecuador at the moment on a month-long trip, and my mum is in Ireland, taking care of my dad who has Parkinson’s. It’s not like they’ll be able to have her, and we can’t foist her on Denise. Marlow needs one of her parents there. But why shouldn’t it be me? I’m the innocent party here. But I can’t get home without my passport. I could yell at the injustice of it. It should be Rob here in my place, coming under suspicion and having to surrender his passport. I’m the one who should be home with our daughter.
‘Just say nothing for now, OK?’ Rob urges. ‘Maybe the police will find who really did it.’ He’s willing me to get on board with his plan. There’s a pleading desperation in his voice. But what’s in it for me? Other than