comes so easily her way: men, success, attention. Why not a baby too?
‘I froze my eggs,’ she says, out of nowhere.
‘What?’ I ask, almost spitting out my champagne.
‘A few years ago,’ she answers with a shrug. ‘I decided I might as well. I knew Toby didn’t want kids and I wasn’t sure I did either, but then seeing what you went through I thought I should, just in case I changed my mind later.’
I stare at her, completely flabbergasted. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
She gives an apologetic smile. ‘It was when you were going through IVF and having a hard time and I didn’t want to mention it I guess. I didn’t want to upset you.’
‘Why would it have upset me?’ I ask, put out that she kept such a big secret from me. Was I that self-absorbed? Would it have upset me? Annoyingly I have to admit perhaps it would have. Any reminder of another woman’s fertility upset me back then, even the sight of prenatal vitamins with a picture of a pregnant woman on the label would send me scurrying in tears from the chemist.
Kate bites her lip. ‘I don’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal. It wasn’t like I was deciding to have a baby. I just put my eggs on ice. Everyone’s doing it these days. It’s the new Botox. People have egg-freezing parties.’
My eyebrows shoot up. Not in my world they don’t.
‘I’m not shitting you,’ she says. ‘It’s all the rage in Hollywood.’
Hollywood. Of course. Kate lives and operates in a different world to me altogether and sometimes I forget that. I take a sip of water, trying to regain some composure. ‘Do you think you’ll use them?’ I ask. ‘The eggs?’ I don’t know why but for some reason the thought of Kate becoming a mother bothers me.
‘Haven’t decided,’ she answers as the waiter lays down a plate of oysters.
‘You’d have to give up eating stuff like that,’ I joke. ‘And drinking too.’
She cocks her head to one side. ‘Are you saying I couldn’t give it up?’
I shake my head. ‘No of course not, I mean, if I managed …’ I trail off. I hadn’t intended to suggest she wouldn’t be capable of hacking a nine-month pregnancy but maybe subconsciously I actually had. Maybe that’s what’s annoying me about all this. Her decision seems so sudden and so unthought-through, so typically Kate. Does she have any idea how much work is involved in raising a child? How hard it is? It isn’t like deciding to buy a new pair of shoes. You can’t take them back if you decide you don’t like them and you can’t toss them to the back of your wardrobe and forget about them. It isn’t like when she decided to get married on a whim and ran off to Vegas with Toby.
You can’t just throw kids away when you get tired of them. And how would she do it on her own, without help? I know she has money but even with all the nannies money could buy it’s difficult being a single mother. I have two friends who are and they deserve medals. I couldn’t do it I don’t think, and I can’t see how Kate would ever have the patience for it.
‘Have an oyster,’ she says, pushing the plate towards me.
I shake my head. It would be just my luck to eat one that was off and get food poisoning.
‘Go on,’ she says. ‘They’re great.’
Oh, what the hell. It’s been years since I’ve eaten any shellfish. I was too worried when I was trying to get pregnant of eating anything that might make me sick. I take one, squeeze some lemon on it, and let it slide down my throat, leaving behind the taste of seawater. ‘That was good,’ I say. ‘Thanks.’
I’m being judgemental. Kate’s my best friend and I should support her whatever her choice is. ‘You’ll be an amazing mum,’ I tell her.
She smiles. ‘Thanks.’
‘Do you think you’ll get a sperm donor?’ I ask.
She slides another oyster into her mouth. ‘Maybe,’ she says. ‘It’s an option. Though I don’t want to be a single parent. Maybe I’ll find a new man. A decent one this time. One who doesn’t sleep with prostitutes and treat me like shit.’
She puts her fork down and reaches for her champagne glass, which the waiter has been kept busy filling up.
‘Here’s to that,’ I say, picking my own glass up to cheers her.
She smiles as