hands go to my mouth, at the possibility that the blood could have been Matt’s.
PC Page frowns at me. Then she stares at me intently. ‘You didn’t know, did you? That he used to give blood?’
Suddenly, I feel trapped. ‘Of course I did. Matt and I told each other everything.’ Worn down by their seeming suspiciousness of everything I say, the lie slips out.
‘I think we all know quite categorically that isn’t the case.’ DI Lacey sounds disparaging. ‘It’s here in black and white – in the case notes.’ He pauses a moment. And I know it’s coming – the million-dollar question. ‘When did you find out your fiancé was having an affair?’
I look at him, not sure who he’s talking about. ‘Are you talking about Lara?’
‘I hardly think a fling, which happened before you and Mr Roche met, constitutes an affair.’ DI Lacey looks irritated.
I sit there, and a rush of blood surges to my face, because surely they know this. ‘When PC Page told me.’
DI Lacey looks at me suspiciously. ‘You genuinely had no idea before then?’
‘You don’t understand.’ Blinking away the tears suddenly filling my eyes, I gaze at PC Page. ‘If there were warning signs, I didn’t see them, but I wasn’t looking for them. Our wedding was two weeks away. My dress was upstairs. We’d written our vows … I thought we were happy.’ I tail off. Every word is true. ‘When he first disappeared, I suppose I was hoping there was an understandable reason. It was before I knew about Lara – and Cath. Obviously, now, the reality has sunk in.’ Sipping my water, I try to work out how to explain how I felt. ‘No-one is perfect.’ I hold her gaze. ‘If he had come back, I would have forgiven him. If you’re lucky enough to meet that person you love with all your heart, don’t you think you would make allowances for that? Yes, there might have been reasons for what he’d done, if other people had screwed him over, or things had happened in the past that meant now and then he made an error of judgement.’ I pause for a moment. ‘Everyone makes mistakes. I suppose it all comes down to one thing – how much you love.’
‘I honestly don’t get it.’ PC Page looks at me blankly, but I already know. She’s never loved the way I have. If she had, she’d be able to understand.
‘That’s how I felt,’ I say simply, looking at them both.
‘You say the two of you had written your own vows? Where are they?’ DI Lacey frowns at me.
‘Mine were on my laptop, but I’ve deleted the folder.’ Remembering the day of the bonfire, when I’d printed them off, then burned them with my dress, I shake my head. ‘Matt printed out his vows before he disappeared. I’ve looked for the piece of paper since then, but I couldn’t find it. The only person who might have a copy is Lara.’
‘What did you write, Ms Reid?’
At what seems the ultimate invasion of my privacy, I feel myself tense. ‘I can’t remember, word for word.’ There’s no way I’m repeating words written for our wedding in here, in front of them. My voice wavers as I go on. ‘I can’t bear much more of this. My fiancé’s betrayed me. No-one knows where he is and the life we were looking forward to has been ripped away … And now, I’ve been wrongly arrested.’ With tears pouring down my cheeks, I reach into my pocket and pull out a tissue, before turning to my solicitor. ‘I need a few minutes.’
‘My client would like a short break.’ Beside me, Andrew Nelson sounds nervous.
‘Very well.’ Pushing his chair back, DI Lacey gets to his feet, then checks his watch. ‘Five minutes, Ms Reid. Then we’ll continue.’
Once DI Lacey and PC Page have left us alone, Andrew Nelson gets up and walks across the room. After a few minutes, he turns back to me. ‘I don’t understand.’ He frowns. ‘How you had absolutely no idea anything was wrong.’
I look at him, remembering how I’d felt when I found out. ‘When you love someone, it’s the last thing you expect. Can’t you see that? And I would have forgiven him at the beginning. I thought if he loved me enough, we could have left it in the past. I loved Matt.’
‘There are limits, though, surely?’ He sounds disbelieving. ‘When you knew he was seeing someone else, a woman he was