no point in us having this conversation. But it sounds as though she needs professional help.’
But he was already shaking his head. ‘I don’t usually talk about it, but she’s unstable. You wouldn’t think it was possible if you met her, and I know it sounds extreme, but I’m really worried she’ll try to kill herself.’ He sighed. ‘I really thought I did love her. But things have changed between us. If we argue …’ He broke off.
‘What?’ I was insistent. If he wanted me to hang around, I needed to know everything.
‘She does need help. She can get really fucking angry. I mean, smashing-things-screaming kind of angry. And the trouble is, if I told anyone, they wouldn’t believe me. They think she’s gentle, quiet Amy who’s had it tough since her bastard of a husband left her.’ I remember his hollow laugh. ‘Her ex was one smart guy to get away from her, believe me.’
‘And I should believe you because?’ Only half-teasing, I looked him in the eye.
‘If you don’t, this is a waste of time.’ His voice was abrupt as putting his drink down, he stood up.
‘Hey, I wasn’t entirely serious. I’m a divorce lawyer. Believe me, I’ve heard everything.’ I also knew better than most people that you can’t judge anyone based on appearance. But I was curious about this Amy. I’d grown up around here. I might have known her. ‘What’s her family name?’
‘Reid. She has a daughter, Jess. Nice kid. Really nice – another thing that makes this so difficult.’
I didn’t know any Amy Reids. He clearly wasn’t faking how badly he felt. It was coming off him in waves. But I knew too that you can’t build a life on something that doesn’t exist. And I found myself liking him. The way he had strength, yet compassion. That night in the bar, as I walked away, I knew that whoever Amy was, this man deserved so much more.
*
For some reason, I wasn’t altogether surprised when I saw him again – in my office. ‘Mr Roche.’ I was overly polite as he walked in. ‘I had a feeling it was going to be you.’
‘I hope you don’t mind. I thought that as you were a lawyer, you might be able to shed some light on something – in a legal capacity, obviously.’ Even though he was hedging, he clearly knew what he wanted to talk about.
I watched his face. ‘I can try. You do know I’m a divorce lawyer?’
As he shook his head, I wasn’t sure if it was an act or not. ‘You did tell me. I can’t believe I’ve forgotten. I’m an idiot. Look, I won’t worry you with it.’
But I was curious. ‘You might as well ask me, I might be able to point you in the right direction.’
‘This is strictly in confidence …’ He hesitated. ‘I wouldn’t want Amy to find out I’ve come to see you, but it’s her house. She refuses to discuss selling it. She always says she needs the garden for her work. But it’s made me think. If there is a reason she can’t sell it, would you have any idea how I could find out?’
‘It doesn’t sound very likely. If the house is in her name, it’s up to her what she does with it.’ It’s an impossible question to answer. ‘Where does she live?’
‘Steyning. It’s stuck out in the middle of nowhere and I’m trying to persuade her we should move somewhere with a little more life around us.’
As he spoke, an unwanted memory flashed into my head, of somewhere else in Steyning, up a narrow lane that snaked into the middle of the Downs. I pushed it from my mind.
‘I know Steyning quite well. But as to why Amy can’t sell … I couldn’t comment. She’s the person you need to talk to about this.’
When he said no more about the house, I wrote it off as a convenient excuse to come and see me. I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the last time I saw him. The next time we bumped into each other, we went for a coffee. The time after that, coffee turned into dinner, when Matt told me about how he and Amy met. He admitted that he’d thought quite quickly she was the one. It was why he proposed so early in their relationship. They valued the same things, seemed to share a vision of what they wanted from life. He knew she loved him,