a moment.
“The real world is the one we help create,” Dion said softly. “Hey. You okay?”
I suddenly realized that last part was addressed to me. I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure I was okay.
After a moment, Roger muttered, “We’re going to head back upstairs.”
Silently, JV filed out. I didn’t try to meet anyone’s eye.
When JV had gone, Ben climbed the steps onto the stage. Slowly, he passed behind each of us.
“Who is coaching this team?” His voice hung heavy in the room.
“You are,” everyone mumbled but me.
“So, who is in charge?”
“You are.”
“And when I give a note, what do you do with that note?”
“Follow it.”
“Correct.” Ben stopped right behind me. “You follow it. Understand, Ellie?”
I hesitated, my heart thumping in my throat.
Say yes . . .
I nodded.
He leaned in. I could feel his breath on my cheek.
“Prostitute. Again.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
We rehearsed for the rest of the afternoon without a break.
“Team dinner,” Ben said by way of dismissing us. “No exceptions.” He stared at me.
I tried to gather my things and go help set up tables, but Ben held me back.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Ben called to the others as they hopped off stage. I tried to catch High Ropes Jake’s eye, but he was gone.
Ben placed a hand on my back and tried to lead me toward the stairs.
“Uh . . . where are we going?” I asked in a tight, thin voice, resisting the movement.
“Upstairs. For just a second.”
Panic welled in my chest. “Uh . . . I’d rather—rather—”
“Ellie . . .” He smiled with his mouth, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I just want to have a conversation.”
I scanned the room for a friendly face, but he leaned in. “You’re making a scene. People will talk. Do you want them to talk?”
I bit my lip and followed Ben upstairs to an unused rehearsal room. Behind him, the door closed and so did my throat. Then he turned to me. “You must be . . . furious with me.”
I shook my head and swallowed. Petrified was more like it.
“I scared you today. First in the woods, then on stage.” He stepped close and took my hand. “I’m sorry, Ellie, I really am. It’s just my feelings for you are so strong—I can’t control myself.” He smiled and tucked yet another curl behind my ear. “You . . . drive me crazy.”
He was moving in for another kiss, and I did not want that. But I was worried about how he might use his physical strength to get what he wanted if I protested too much. I stepped back and held up my hands.
“It’s fine,” I said, forcing lightness into my voice. “Let’s just go to dinner. I’m hungry.”
He pouted. “Come on, Ellie.” He reached for my hand again. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t have . . .”
This I was interested in. “You shouldn’t have what?”
He shrugged and smiled sadly. “Look: you can’t imagine the kind of pressure I’m under from the Pauls. Money’s really tight, and they’re counting on alumni donations to get out of the red. This show has never been more important. Plus . . .” He looked at me like I was a puppy. “I can’t help how strong my feelings are for you.”
“Yeah. You said that. Can we go?” I tried to take my hand back. He held on.
“Give me a smile first.” With his other hand, he stroked my cheek. I twitched. “See? You have strong feelings for me, too.”
“Yup.” That wasn’t a lie. They were strong feelings of revulsion.
“Let’s go,” he said, tugging at me like I was the one who was reticent to leave. He pulled me to the door. As he opened it, we were greeted by the Gildas, running up the stairs. I thought I was going to cry from relief.
“Hey, girls,” Ben said, shaking off my hand like it was diseased. “What’s going on?”
“Well, we’re kind of embarrassed.” Emily wrung her hands. “You know how when girls live together, their . . . cycles align?”
I shot a look at Sirena, but she was focused on Emily.
“Well,” Emily continued, “we all need . . . supplies. Like, now. None of us brought any because we didn’t think we’d need them, but apparently altitude can also trigger this kind of thing . . .”
Ben folded his arms.
“So, can you please drive down the mountain and get us this stuff?”
Paloma handed him a twenty-five-item shopping list and a wad of cash.
“It’s two hours down the mountain,” Ben protested.
“Sorry.” Emily winced.
“Doesn’t