hour was filled with nothing but heavy questions and filling out an insane amount of paperwork. What documents would be filed and what was required of me. By the time I stood up to leave my head was reeling. But I had jumped one hurdle and for right now, that was enough.
When it was time to go, he stood up and shook my hand. I swore I saw the smallest amount of respect in his eyes.
“What happens now?” I asked.
“Well, Wes will have to be notified that you’ve filed for divorce. You can’t serve him the papers. In most circumstances anyone else can serve him the papers.”
“I’ll do it,” Renee chimed in.
I shot Renee a look. “Is there any other option to serve the papers?” I asked him.
“Of course. It can be through mail. Service by picking it up. But I think the best option is personal service, where the spouse is personally delivered the papers. This also means that the court can have personal jurisdiction over the spouse.”
Hesitantly, I nodded. “Let’s do that.”
“All right. The second he is served, you’ll be notified.”
“What happens after that?”
“After that we’ll go through any assets or outstanding debts that you have together. What belongings in your household that you want or don’t want. A court date will be set. You’ll go before a judge. And if all goes well, then the paperwork will be finalized.”
“And if it doesn’t go well?”
He shrugged, the look on his face grim. “Then this divorce could take years.”
My body was shaking as we walked toward the car. Renee and I were quiet as we drove back home. I stared out the window, bouncing back and forth between relief that I did the right thing and fear that it would all blow up in my face. I would spend the next few days a nervous wreck, waiting to hear when the papers were served.
This was one more hurdle that had been jumped and I knew I should be relieved and a small part of me was. Aside from actually telling Wes that I wanted a divorce, I knew filing would be one of the hardest parts of this whole situation. It hurt just as bad as I thought it would.
“I’m proud of you,” Renee said.
I didn’t reply.
“I know I sound all mushy and dramatic,” she continued. “But I really mean it.”
Renee sighed and gave my hand a pat. I continued to look out the window, staring into the traffic, feeling the weight of this situation pressing harder on my shoulders.
I’d seen the ugly side of my husband enough to know that it could get uglier, and my gut told me that it was about to get much uglier.
November 2014
I took a pregnancy test in the bathroom at Wal-Mart.
Waiting ten minutes until I got home to pee on that damn stick seemed like it would be an impossible feat. I had to find out and it had to be right now.
My hands shook as I yanked the test kit out of the box. So many times had I taken the test, hoping with all my might for a positive result, only to be disappointed.
Right now I didn’t know where I stood. Out of all the times in my life a pregnancy should arise, now was the worst. Still, the thought that I could be pregnant, that one of my dreams could actually be coming true, plowed over all the cons.
I stared blindly at the graffitied door in front of me as I peed on the stick. As I waited for the results I read how Britney was a whore. Annie and Devin were meant to be 4eva. And Savannah, Kaylee, and Lucy were BFFs.
Dear God, I hadn’t thought this through. Did I really want to find out life-changing news while the lady in the stall next to me told her son not to pee on the walls?
Faucets were turning on and off and someone coughed loudly. I didn’t really care; my focus was on that thin white stick. It said to wait three minutes. Such a short amount of time but it stretched out in front of me, feeling more like three years.
Nervously, my legs bobbed up and down. I told myself to breathe, that everything would be okay. No matter the results it would. Be. Okay.
My nerves were shot. I finally peered down at the test and saw the positive line. I blinked a few times, waiting for the horizontal line to fade away and reveal the truth. But