I stop myself is because we need the energy we have left.
Survival is such a fucking bitch.
“I’m glad I met you back then,” she says after a while. “You were my light in the darkness.”
My chest expands with a mixture of strange feelings. I never thought there would be a day Elsa would call me her light, even in past tense.
I was always the shadow to her darkest desires and I thought I was fine with that. Turns out, I’m a selfish bastard who wants it all. Both her light and her darkness.
Her best and her worst.
Her everything.
“And now?” I ask.
“Now you’re just you.” She sighs.
“Meaning?”
“Meaning you drive me fucking crazy, but I love every second of it.”
I grin. “You love every second of it, huh?”
“Yes, dickhead.” She shoves me, but then digs her fingers into my pullover and draws me closer to rest her cheek on my arm. Her skin is warm.
“I meant it the other day, loving me is a one way road. You can’t go back.”
“Oh, I know…I won’t...” Her voice is quiet.
She falls back asleep. We remain like that for half an hour until she starts mumbling something in her dreams.
“Elsa?” I cradle her cheeks and pause at the burn in them.
I thought the flush and the heat were only because of how thoroughly I fucked her.
Is she having a fever?
“Elsa, open your eyes.”
“I love you, Aiden. I really, really do.” She tightens her small hands in my pullover one more time before they fall on her side.
Fuck! Fuck!
I take her hand in mine; they’re feverish, too.
“Have you been running in the rain again, Elsa?” I curse under my breath.
Why the hell does she have this weird habit of running in the rain when she has a fucking heart condition?
The hunger and exhaustion must be making things worse.
My muscles tense and my brain fills with a thousand scenarios.
First of all, I need to keep her body temperature down.
I carefully place her on the ground and put her jacket under her head. She pulls her legs to her chest and bends into a foetal position.
Yanking my pullover off, I soak it with water from the lavatory and wrap it around her head.
A moan rips from her colourless lips. The flush on her face has been reddening by the second.
Sweat beads on her forehead and down her temples.
I place a hand on her heart. The beat starts slow then turns hard within a second.
That’s not good.
This isn’t a simple fever. Her heart condition is acting up and I’ll bet my life she didn’t visit her heart physician after she left with her father.
When she collapsed that day after running in the rain, our family doctor said she should visit her specialist as soon as possible. Knowing Elsa, she probably didn’t want to worry her father as soon as she reunited with him.
“Fuck, Elsa. Fuck!”
We need out of here.
Fucking now.
If not treated properly, a simple fever can be lethal to someone with a heart condition.
I know because I’ve been studying the shit out of it since I learnt of her illness.
That’s why I’ve been even stricter than her aunt about her special food. I brought her water with the highest concentration of minerals because I read it’s good. I’ve been watching her while she runs, looking for tiny clues about her breathing.
However, I couldn’t stop her from running in the rain since she often does it behind everyone’s back.
I snatch my pullover, soak it with water again and then wrap it around her head.
My lips touch her forehead one last time before I stagger to my feet.
Adrenaline shoots through my veins and fills me with one purpose only. I’ll open that door even if I have to dislocate my shoulders in the process.
Elsa and I will get out of here.
We’re not losing our lives in this basement another time.
37
Jonathan
Unlike common belief, villains aren’t evil.
Villains are simply people who go after what they want even if it means walking all over the crowd.
I might be considered the villain of this story, and I’m fine with that. My beliefs are my own and none of anyone’s fucking business.
Like an Italian politician once said, it’s better to be feared than loved.
Fear brings efficiency and gets things done.
Love is for masochistic fools.
I was in love once. It’s irrational and out of control.
Perhaps that’s why I’m trapped in my own head, scheming one revenge plot after the other.
I know full well it won’t bring Alicia back, but I go on with it anyway.
Why?
Because it’s