close to Aiden is never that simple.
Lowering my guard is about the worst disservice I can do for myself.
He’s manipulative and unpredictable and those facts drag me to the edge every time I want to relax.
Yes, my heart and body are itching and breaking to be with him. They’re sending all the right signals, too: flutters, tingles, pheromones.
Those play for the loser team, though and the strategist, aka my brain, wouldn’t let them have their way.
Aiden’s fingers pause on my scalp as if he can feel my next move before I make it.
I roll to my side and sit up, inching to the other half of the sofa. Pretending to push my hair back, I compose myself.
The urge to throw myself into his arms overwhelms me. It’s like an animal clawing and screeching to be set free.
It takes every ounce of willpower to keep my distance.
“Don’t.” The harshness in his voice startles me from my thoughts.
I peek at him. The sombre expression on his handsome face takes me aback.
“Don’t what?” I’m genuinely confused.
“Don’t pull away from me.”
“I’m not pulling away.”
“I call bullshit. You’re going Frozen on me again.”
“Don’t you think you deserve it?” I glare at him.
“The only thing I deserve is you.”
“Newsflash, Aiden. You barely gave me a reason to be all warm and cosy with you. Now that my head is in the game, it’s hard to see you in a positive light.”
“Is that so?”
No. It’s a lie. No matter how much it’d be logical to stay away from him, I know deep down, in the dark corners of my soul, being with Aiden is the only thing that makes me whole.
He completes me.
And not in a Disney kind of way. His darkness speaks to me on levels that scare the bejesus out of me.
So, yeah, I might be playing my last running away card. What? A girl has to look out for herself.
“You said you’ll take me home later.” I smother my skirt. “It’s later now.”
“Fuck that.” He grabs my hands in his. A jolt of electricity shoots down my spine.
No, no, no.
He needs to stop touching me if any of this will work.
Before I can pull my hand away, he places my palm on his chest. My eyes widen at his wild heartbeat. I always forget how erratic Aiden’s heartbeat can go.
Like thunderstorms.
Deadly, but also alive.
So, so alive.
“You owe me from the past, Elsa.”
A different type of flutter snakes into my heart. This one is painful and destructive. I stare at my lap. “T-that was my mother, not me.”
“She’s dead. You’re alive.” He tilts his head. “I’ll take what I can get.”
“That’s a low blow, dickhead,” I mutter under my breath.
He knows how guilty I feel about what Ma did, but like a first-class sociopath, he’s using it against me.
Aiden lifts a shoulder. “I’ll use whatever I can to get you. I have no boundaries when it comes to you, Elsa.”
“Aiden…”
“The scar on my ankle is because she had me cuffed with metal to heavy chains. The scars on my back are because she hit me with a horsewhip over and over again until I passed out. I don’t think she stopped even when I lay lifeless on the floor.”
“Aiden. Stop.”
He doesn’t. He digs the shard harder and deeper into my skin with every word out of his mouth.
“She gave me nothing to eat and barely anything to drink. I had to piss and shit where I slept. She treated me worse than a dog, and the funny part was, she never really saw me. She saw someone else when she looked at me. When I finally came back home, the only person who could’ve made it better was also gone.”
Tears stream down my cheeks by the time he’s done. My lips tremble and my jaw aches with the need to hold in the sobs.
Aiden speaks so nonchalantly, it’s more terrifying than if he spoke with emotions. Now, I see why he doesn’t hold feelings in high regard. They were purged out of him a long time ago.
They were whipped, starved, and burned into the fire.
“Do you know how it feels to be hit with a horsewhip until the skin breaks? Until blood drips to the ground?” His jaw tightens, the tiniest bit, before it goes back to normal. “It hurt like a bitch especially for an eight-year-old who didn’t know real pain.”
The word stop lingers on my tongue, but I swallow it.
Aiden lived those horrors, the least I could do is listen. Even if he’s